Stinky Junior's Blog

The Tale of the Lost Hat

2011-12-22T09:42:00.000-08:00

The things that kept me up last night:

1. The high pitched laugh of some chick at the party in the condo across the courtyard

2. The shouting of boys playing beer pong at the party in the condo across the courtyard

3. Waiting for the cops to show up at midnight to tell the people to shut up at the party in the condo across the courtyard

4. The few boys left on the condo's roof, after the party, having this slurred, yet very audible conversation:

"Dude...You lost my hat."
"Where's your hat?"
"I can't find my hat. I can't find my hat."
"C'mon..Dude...C'mon, let go find your hat"

Repeat

After the party broke up, here's the thing that kept me up:

Lying in bed, with my eyes closed, trying to do meditative breathing, but ending up mentally working on a PowerPoint presentation for work.

Now I'm too tired to actually do the PowerPoint presentation for work.

I Will Remember You

2011-12-14T20:25:00.000-08:00

Ornery Zelda

This past Saturday, I walked into the animal rescue, a place where I've spent every Saturday morning for the past 19 months and something was different. Zelda's name card wasn't in it's usual spot outside the room she had been staying. Zelda, a 16 year old, long haired tabby with bright emerald eyes and more spunk than any cat I've known, was nowhere to be found. She had been at the Lange Foundation for almost 2 years, ending up at the animal rescue with her mate Fred, when their owner had passed away suddenly. Their owner had been a dedicated volunteer for years and, of course, the rescue took in his cats.

Lange is a great no-kill shelter that rescues dogs and cats from death row at L.A. County shelters. They do phenomenal work and the caring staff obviously loves each and every one of their charges, taking great care of the animals. Zelda was in good hands.

Zelda's left leg was withered, a condition she was born with, and didn't hold any weight. It looked like a feline version of Cerebral Palsy on that one limb. But that weak leg didn't hold her back at all. She would use it like a nunchuck when protecting her afternoon canned food snack from other cats in her room. Zelda weighed almost 5 lbs and she was always hungry. Last year, my husband and I visited her every day over the course of several months, giving her a can of food and protecting her from any younger or spry-er cats who tried to nose their way into the treat.

Zelda had been looking skinnier and sicker the last few weeks. It was hard visiting her. She reminded me so much of my own cat Munchy, our 18 year old tabby, who we had to put down in December of 2009. We still miss Munchy so. But no matter Zelda's condition, I still petted her bony head and back. She deserved to be loved, even if it was tough.

This Saturday, I asked Emylia, who works at the rescue, if they had finally made the decision to put Zelda down. Emylia told me that Zelda had passed on her own the previous Thursday night. They found her in room 1 on Friday morning, relieved she was finally at peace. She was with her owner on the other side of the "Rainbow Bridge" as animal grief advocates call it.

I'm not telling you this to bum you out. I wanted to write a post about Zelda, because she doesn't have an owner to grieve for her. Everyone at the shelter was saddened. I know many of the volunteers will be teary-eyed at the loss of Zelda dear. Volunteering to socialize these cats or walk the dogs expands your heart with all the love these homeless animals offer. Knowing they were abandoned, either intentionally or due to circumstance, just amplifies affection. That love overshadows the heartbreak of the times when one of them doesn't make it through to adoption.

Most animals, that are eulogized online, have had guardians (pet parents) who talk at length about how much they will miss their companions. I just thought that Zelda deserved a moment as well.

There have been several other cats at the rescue who passed this year while waiting to be adopted into a forever home. By spending time with these cats every week, I got to know each of them. Every single animal had a unique personality. Just because they didn't have a forever home, doesn't mean they weren't loved. They weren't just anonymous cats at a shelter. Animals pass every day, these are the souls I knew. They were individuals. I won't forget them. I do miss them.

Daisy - She was a spunky, chunky grey and white cat who was the first to greet anybody when they walked in the door of room 2. She talked a lot and loved standing on my lap.

Cayenne - A shy orange cat with FIV. His tongue never went in and there were a few times his drool almost reached the floor from where he was on the top of the cat tree.

Easy

Easy - This one really got me. Easy was a young tabby and white fatty. He was polydactyl and such an easy going, funny guy. He got sick, kidney failure I think, and left us quick.

Eddie

Eddie - Eddie was not easygoing. He was a bitey pain in the butt. But he loved catnip and would purr if you could get to the spot on his neck where he liked to be scratched.

Aimee - A beautiful, fat calico who stuffed herself into a corner and hissed, Aimee was terrified when her owner of 8 years returned her to Lange. As the guardian of a scaredy/feral cat, it was my goal to get Aimee into my lap within a year. She fell ill and passed before I had a chance to mellow her out.

Carmen

Carmen - This sweet, scrawny tortie cat was Carmen. If I gave her love, she asked for more, even though she never chased me down for it. She was just unimposing and gentle.

Garfield - He was a sweet lump of an orange kitty. He is greatly missed by everyone who met him.

The Good, The Bad and the Squeezable

2011-07-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

Ya know those random thoughts that ramble through your brain repeatedly? One of my redundant mental rambles is "The positive aspect of working from home is (your item here)." There are negatives too.

So I decided that since I need to make SJ more of a habit (that's Stinky Junior people), on the days I got nuttin', I'll do a short pro v. con of working form home...which I do...so you know.

1st exciting and earth-shattering entry into this subject:

One of the cons of working from home is that the toilet paper runs out a lot quicker.

The counterpoint pro is that I don't have to go into a bathroom stall during the day and try not to toot while Angie from Merchandising re-applies her mascara.

Some times my profundity shocks even me.

I Have Harry Potter's Chair

2011-07-15T14:11:00.000-07:00

This is my 100th posting on Stinky Junior. Waa hoo!!! That deserves a round of beers! (for me, come buy me a beer.)

Walter The Awesome

Let me start ole hundy off with the good news (not the Jesus kind); Walter got adopted! The staff at Lange Foundation said his new human Mom is perfect, she had her last cats for a few decades. She adopted him with another orange kitten named Tubs, so he's got a buddy to harass. Good job Walter! We told your Mom and she's happy for ya.

The Kloves Chair and I

Old business has been completed. We move on to our first item of new business. My kick-A** new chair!! (new to me.)

The Lange Foundation (animal rescue shelter where we volunteer every Saturday) started it's annual Estate sale last weekend and will be running it through the end of August. Pretty much all of L.A. has donated art, furniture, jewelry, old boob implants, pretty much anything you can think of... (kidding on the boobs)

Before we went into the shelter, to do our usual love up on the kitties this past Saturday, Seen and I headed to the sale. Our apartment needs redecoration and just wanted to see if they had any furniture that might be appropriate.

Boy howdy, did we get a find! Seen sat in this really cool, ultra-unique white ivory suede, comfy, round, swivel chair. It was $100, the money was all going to the charity, so we said 'YAY!' and bought it. As we were loading it out, the rescue founder, Gillian Lange, told us the chair had been donated by Steven Kloves, writer of all the Harry Potter movie scripts. What the what? That is bonus-ly awesome! I've read all the books and have liked nearly 2/3 of the movies. And the last HP has just opened, so completely timely. Totally worth the $100, if not more.

Planking, like the kids do.

I decided to plank it out on the chair, just to be hip, modern and a dork. We'll be seeing the movie on Sunday and writing my review from the scriptwriters chair, just to be holistic.

I'm in Love with Walter

2011-06-30T11:33:00.001-07:00

Walter

Hi Friends! So much has happened in the last 6 months: Fostering kittens, job interviewing, living next to Whitey Bulger. Check out the highlights at my FierceAndNerdy Blog. It's totally all about having fun, and junk...

One of those things, the fostering kittens for Lange Foundation, turned out to be lots of fun. We adopted the mama kitty, Olivia. She's a tiny tortie. The reason I'm rehashing here, at the risk of over-kittening you lovely readers, is to post about Walter. Of her 3 kittens, the other two being Peter and Astrid (the Fringe litter, doncha know), Walter is the only one who hasn't been adopted yet.

Oh Hai! My name is Walter and I'm pretty much awesome.

I am madly in love with Walter, but can't take another cat! He's so smart. He also absolutely loves playing while on your legs and snoozing in laps. He will stare at you lovingly while chewing on a toy or before he zonks out for a nap. He's a gorgeous kitten, about 12 weeks old now. We did a photo shoot with him just before we brought his Mom home with us. Share these pictures with SoCal friends who might want to adopt the best orange kitten in the history of the world. Get Walter a home! (click on this link to get his current address, so you can, ya know, go pick him up...)

What's in your cat turret Olivia?

Seen and Olivia

Olivia liked to wrangle kittens. This wasn't one of her biological kittens, but Seen found her sitting on top of the poor girl. Take a look at her wet neck, Mama Olivia was cleaning her.

Walter had a cold, so they put him in Iso (I call it Jail)

Walter started off the photo shoot with a booger.

So I picked it for him.

Crazy!

Why Feathers Make Me Sleepy

2011-02-07T14:53:00.000-08:00

Workin' Hard or Hardly Workin'?

Hello Sports Fans! I really just wanted you to check out my latest and averagely fine Fierce and Nerdy blogumn about Super Bowl Commercials. I wrote it yesterday because I was on my arse in front of the TV and too sleepy to come up with anything else. Genius!

Too. Many. Feathers.

I'm sleepy because, for 3 nights and/or pre-dawns in a row, KoE the cat was tossing cookies. Not like ninja stars, but as in hurling up the contents of her stomach. On Saturday morning, let's say around 4:45, she woke me up with that cat "uh-hurk, uh-hurk, uh-hurk" sound of vomiting. I know that cats throw up, it's just something they do, but Saturday morning, she continued to throw up and throw up and throw up, probably over a dozen times, with just foamy bile coming up the last several goes. Not yay. A doctors visit was in order.

I had noticed, as I was cleaning up after her, that there were little bits of orange flecks in her mess. Seen and I turned into detectives. There was no orange bits in her food or her treats or any of the myriad of safe toys lying about the shack. Then I remembered, the orange feather on the end of her feather on a stick toy. I dragged it out of it's "safe" spot in the closet and sure enough, little bits were missing.

Time for a nap!

At 9:00 we took her to the vet. They squeezed us in for an exam and an x-ray. Dr. Metten showed us on the x-ray where teeny bits of white spots were in her tummy, bits of undigested feather. From the looks of it, probably about 3-4 dozen little bits. It was irritating her stomach and making her hurl.

She is on a bland diet, which she is hating, for a few days and will be fine. She hasn't tossed her lunch since Saturday, so I've been catching up on my rest. I've also had a heart to heart chat with her about trying to be sick during regular business hours going forward, because the human lady needs her sleep. Not sure she's paying attention, she's been busy looking for her missing feather toy.

Sweet Knits

2011-02-03T11:31:00.000-08:00

I wish my hobby was knitting, because I could make myself something warm to wrap around myself on these chilly mornings. (And yes, I feel silly saying "chilly" when it's 45 degrees and the rest of the country is around -4000, with windchill.) My hobby/passion is writing, so I am going to make myself a shawl out of rejection notices. Mmmm cozy.


That's totally me at Grandma's house!

Other than being cold, I'm on a hunt for candy. Since being made aware that I am now allergic to chocolate, I need to find sweet stuff that won't send me into vertigo. All the good stuff is either chocolate or covered in chocolate. I've been searching for caramels. Unfortunately, all the caramels I've found so far live in chocolate houses. My Grandma used to have a candy bowl with Brach's flavored caramel Royals. Seen suggested I ask her where she found them, but as she passed away over 23 years ago, the conversation probably wouldn't be productive.

The Whole doesn't have caramels. Target didn't even have Kraft caramels. None of the 80 grocery stores we've stopped at had caramels sans cocoa. So now I'm pondering Amazon, which apparently has an abundance of caramel selections (including Royals which I would find delicious, but eating them would make me miss Grandma). Or I could make my own, but we all know how incredibly lazy I really am.

I have a code

2011-01-12T20:12:00.000-08:00


Me in training courtesy of FunnyFreePics.com

The world has gone crazy in a handbasket, so I'm learning how to build websites. Don't call me a Hero. Ok, go ahead.

As I stumble through this WordPress training, I feel like a monkey trying to learn to communicate via computer screen. If I focus hard enough, someday Jane Goodall will give me that dang orange. (I know, mixed monkey metaphor)

It also occurs to me that I'm an impatient soul. I've always gone for the quick gains, usually skipping the basics, because, come on, lets face it, the basics are for slow people . Impatience is the reason I get so friggin bored during basic information sessions (like during my training for the census. That took for. friggin. ever.)

For the WordPress training, I actually started from the top and paid attention. There were cool little things I learned that I might have missed had I skipped ahead. I think my mindset started changing toward the basics over the last week or so, when I started teaching myself piano. Piano isn't something where you can skip to expert level on the first day. Patience is learning Aura Lee, at advancing speed, without screeching in frustration as my finger hits "F" instead of "G". Someday I'll get to Carnegie Hall... with lots of practice. (It's still called Carnegie Hall right? It's not "Groupon Hall" yet is it?)

The other thing I need to tell you is to check out my Fierce and Nerdy blogumn on being nice. My default setting is Cran-Key. When I eat right and exercise, I'm nicer. Being mindful of being a citizen of the world, also helps me tone down the crank.

My Dad set an example of how to be kind and trust people, a courtesy he gave to nearly everyone he met. Before he passed, Dad told us a story of a man, who he hired to work for his concrete business back in the 70's. The guy called him in 2008, while Dad was battling MDS, to let Dad know that because Dad had taken a chance on this wild drifter guy, that guy had learned what it took to work and create a good life. The guy went on to build a successful business. That was just how Dad treated people, with patience and belief. That's good stuff to learn.


Courtesy of Quasi's owner Renee

Before we part, you totally need to check out this cat. Seriously, it's not Photoshop. He is a real cat. His owner made cool character art, My Ugly Kitty, and seems to have a great sense of humor. We dig Renee and Quasi!

Revolving resolve

2011-01-04T09:29:00.000-08:00

Hot Topics!

Resolution number Six for 2011 is to update this blog at least once a week. As this is the first week of 2011, I am off to a stellar start. So, let's update shall we?

1. I want this. A notepad. For the shower!! This brilliant device will do one of two things: Either I will write down all of the genius ideas that bombard me in the shower, or it will scare the muse out of the shower and I can actually wash with a calm, peaceful mind. Click on the pic to find out where you can buy it for me.

2. I decided to make some catnip toys for the kitties at the shelter. Since the sewing machine is broken, I hand sewed little pockets and filled them with batting and nip. To entertain my brain, whilst my fingers were stitching, I watched Boardwalk Empire on demand. I got sucked into the really great writing, unpredictable characters and inside jokes about history. Plus, I stage managed some theatre with Micheal Shannon a few years ago, so it's always fun to see him working.

SPOILER ALERT - (Ok, not really a SPOILER but more of a frowny emoticon) The last episode of Season 1 was lousy. I got totally hooked on the first 11 and then, ppllbbt. It seemed so contrived. At one point, during Michael Shannon's last scene of the season, I felt like I was watching an episode of Three's Company. Not sure why the writers/producers made those choices, other than JUST to keep a successful cast.

3. Joined a writing group. I knew 2 people going in, but had weird random historical connections to the other 3. Connections I didn't know about until the meeting. Sussing out those connections led to me rambling. I have two social modes, shy/terrified or rambling. In the moment, rambling always feels like a triumph over my timidity. Later, say, in the shower when I have monkey mind, I wonder why I say dorky things and get embarrassed. Aside from my neurotic reactions to being social, I am really looking forward to the group. It's giving me deadlines to get seriously serious and finish draft 2 of my NaNoRhino novel.

And now, as the rambling for this week comes go a close, I wish you a very warm and happy 2011. (Check out more resolutions and top picks for movies/books/TV/music for 2010 on Fierce and Nerdy.) Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the paper towels on the top shelf.

An Education

2010-12-08T13:13:00.000-08:00

'They' say you learn something new every day. When I woke up with food poisoning I learned 2 things:

1. Always, and I mean always, keep your toilet clean.

2. The other thing you don't want to see, when you're shivering and rocking back and forth on the bathroom floor, is a the cover of the LA Magazine's ultimate guide to Mexican food. Probably best to keep that issue in the living room.

This blog has been brought to you by the letters T and M and I.

That Happened

2010-12-03T15:01:00.000-08:00

Right! I'm procrastinating my other writing and work and so on and such forth. I figured it would be a good time to catch up with you (4) people! So, how ya been?

Me? I finished NaNoWriMo, or Nano Rhino, as we call it around here. I am a winner! See how this fancy gif tells you that?!? So I have 50,022 words, all about a similar topic, blended together into one document that we'll call "The First Draft". On January 1, after a one month break from "The First Draft", I plan to print it out and ruthlessly re-write almost every stinkin' sentence. As I told my writing partner, I felt more like I was directing traffic with a keyboard than magically creating a story.

The book is, mainly, about my Dad's battle with MDS and Leukemia. Ya know the saying "no tears in the writer, no tears in the reader..."? well, this book has tears, from the writer at least. I tried to handle it lightly and keep it full of the grace and humor with which my Dad fought the illnesses. But much like the physiological reaction to the stress I had at the time, my body started shutting down as I was writing.

The morning after I started writing about Dad's last day, I woke up with either a stomach virus or food poisoning. Yup, ole Hurley Joe was back for one last round of "maybe you shouldn't revisit this trauma just yet." I was the kind of sick where you lay on the cold bathroom floor cause the bed is too far away, pull the cat's sleeping pillow under your head and just drape a bath towel over you while you try and sleep for just 5 minutes. On a positive note, I tried Head-On (applied directly to my forehead), because the headache I had was overwhelming and I couldn't even keep water down. That stuff works pretty well! (and BTW, did you know that Pepto Bismal gives you a black tongue? I just found that out/fascinating.)

After a few days (which included Thanksgiving, America's eating holiday) I sipped my broth and said "Screw You Body! I'm finishing this thing, so SUCK IT!" Suck it indeed. The knot in my belly kicked like a p.o.'d fetus, but I sallied forth and viola! Winner GIF! And hopefully, in a year or so, after 2 rewrites, copy edits and reviews from trustworthy sources, securing an agent and a publisher...a Barnes & Noble best seller. Like Magic!

I guess I'll get back to pressing matters. So you peeps have a Happy Hannukah, Good Yule, Sweet Solstice and Merry Christmas. Don't drink and drive, but say yes to fun and have the best time you possibly can!

Brain v. taste buds

2010-11-17T14:53:00.001-08:00

What is up with this craving? Why do I want a Little Debbie Swiss Roll? It's not food. I think it's made from unicorn hiccups and kitten giggles, with a dab of HFCS and hydrogenated palm oil. Look at it, so smug, just sitting there being delicious.

While cutesy, these things won't help me shred my pecs or shrink my hinder. After 1 minute of yummy noises and 10 minutes of jubilant dancing, a Little Debbie Swiss Roll will create the sugar crash beast within me to eat the adorableness out of the world.

Why can't I just enjoy that pear that's in my fridge? Look how pretty, like nature painted it with glittery gold/green paint. I would absolutely love to be craving that pear. I just think she's outta my league.

The Rhino

2010-11-09T10:10:00.000-08:00

I am procrastinating by writing you this love note: I think you're the best. Do you like me back?

[_] Yes
[_] No

Not much happening around here except me trying to write 50,000 words, all strung together, in some type of story-like format by the end of November. Yes, fellow kiddos, I am doing the NaNoWriMo challenge.

This is the perfect year for me to do it, as I am working at home. Therefore, after a short meditation, I can go from work to writing with no commute between the two! Thank you The Man, for letting me work at home.

When I first discussed it with Seen, he thought I said "I'm going to do Nano Rhino this year." That tickled me into a giggle fit. I'm easily entertained.

The best part of the rhino is the speed part. It's very Amherst method of writing without editing. I'm pretty sure that I've written some good stuff and some blah stuff, but it's getting generated. I can fix that crappy crap in post. You guys will get all the juicy details on it when I do my GMA interview on my best-selling novel in about 18 months. (Here is that PMA baby!!)

I'm at about 12,300 now. Should be 14,600 by EOD, if I ever stop writing to you. I just can't quit you.

Sandwich Cure

2010-10-29T10:34:00.000-07:00

It has been almost 6 weeks since I had a banana. All because my doctor gave me anti-fungals and put me on a diet so restrictive that even fruit sugars were considered a forbidden food-dancer. I blathered on about on my FaN blog recently.

After a month of not cheating AT ALL, eating only greens and proteins, suffering through hunger and super-dooooper cranky pantsyness (man, my poor husband), I had a follow up call with her.

She said "keep the diet up for 8 more weeks." WHAAA? I sighed, buckled down and bought more deep green veg with some fish (yucky).

I'm losing weight like a mo-fo, but what follows that conversation was 10 more days of pouting, stomping, almost fainting (did I mention my low blood pressure? No? Well, it really isn't any of your business, but yes, if you must be nosey, I have LOW blood pressure. Happy now? Have you stopped reading? Come back!! I promise the blog is gonna get really good and sexy in a few minutes, just stick with me. Sexy beer.) yelling and general bitchiness. It is so frustrating to not have a sandwich like a normal.

On day 10 of the NEW 8 week restrictions, (almost 6 weeks total) while reading an article about the L.A. coroner office, I stumbled on a quote from a local mortician. He said that everyone dies, no one really knows when, so - Eat, Drink and Be Merry, for tomorrow you may die. (I will thank that mortician every time I eat this month.) That night, on a walk with the ever patient husband, we discussed the options, the pros v. cons of continuing the diet or working through my stress/health issues in other ways. We came to the conclusion of Other Ways. (mainly cardio, yoga, meditation, friends and PMA). What it came down to was quality of life. Since I don't have actual Candida yeast, only 2 lesser yeasts, I was satisfied with the action I had taken for 6 weeks. Because every second of life counts, I didn't want to be miserable for one more of those life seconds.

That decision was 1 week ago and I feel pretty awesome right now. Yeah, my head is a little achey from sinus pressure, but whatevs. I'm still eating healthy, just not so restricted. My cardio is much improved now that I'm eating and the PMA is honestly making me feel better physically and psychologically.

Alot of this stuff is mental, and believe me, I am mental! (See rambling above. I promise to shorten next time, but it's been 2 months since we've chatted.)

Oh! and because I promised you - sexy beer!

In Memoriam, Robert D. Henry, aka Dad

2010-08-26T07:00:00.000-07:00

Today marks the one year anniversary of my Dad's death. My mother has posted a memorial in her local newspapers, which is customary in the rural area where she lives. About a week ago, she asked me to write something for that memorial as I am "the writer in the family".

I selfishly didn't want to write anything. It would hurt, make me cry, make me think about Dad and the last year of his life. I didn't want to feel that pain over again. So I looked through pre-written, memorial prose and poems. I copied a few to share with Mom before it really hit me that I should make an effort. I should try to say how we miss him, because remembering Dad, with all his silliness and smarts, is a good thing. Dad was more than just that last year of hospitals, nurses and blood tests. Dad was a storyteller, an educator, a bee-keeper, a fisherman, a builder, a cowboy, a gardener, a husband and a father. So, I wrote this poem.

When I read it to my Mom, we cried a bit and decided this would be something to share here, as a memorial for my Pop:

World Without -

Time has passed
differently since you left,
headed for Heaven
to watch over us

The bees reluctantly make honey
The fish are slower to rise for a juicy worm
The tomatoes struggle to plump
on their garden vine

And the old black dog still
waits for you to walk
through the front door

There have been moments
or whole days
when we expect to hear your laugh again
to get wrapped up in your big, generous hug
to see the twinkle in your eyes as you plan something ornery
to hear your Eddie Arnold baritone work through half a song
to get advice on a million subjects only you knew best

Our memories of you
will bind us in love
as we wait for you by the front door.

---

Dad died on August 26, 2009 at 5:58 am. I remember his last breath, the troubled night before and the grief that followed that exhale. He left us, as the sun came up and poured pinks and pastel blues of the flat Colorado prairie where he had spent the entire experience of his life. We were with him; 5 kids, one granddaughter and Mom. We were holding his hands, holding up Mom, telling him it was okay to let go, be at peace.

So he left us.

I remember afterward, that I took my phone and walked out the front door of the hospital. It was a beautiful summer morning. The air was about as clean as it can get just about anywhere and a couple of stars were still blinking on the horizon.

I perched on the end of the little stone bench. I would have sat fully, but the sprinklers had left a puddle in the little ridge that ran down the center of the marble seat. I needed to call my support, my oak, my own husband and tell him.

So strange to think that the whole world didn’t automatically know that everything had changed. How could the breeze blow the same way? or flowers grow to any height? My world had lurched like a train making an unexpected pick up. Everything I had ever known seemed to stop. So how did the globe keep spinning?

It's been a very surreal year. When I see pictures, it seems weird that Dad isn't around any more. Time passes and the memories of Dad, when he was healthy and ornery and goofy, are starting to come more frequently than the memories of him when he was sick. Still, I have dreams about him walking on the beach next to me, explaining how the ions in salt water can heal me. Dad liked to educate me, and everybody, on stuff like that. I like those dreams, even though they make me miss him more.

The wound of losing him has healed so it isn't as raw, but that scar will always mark me. I will miss my Pop for the rest of my life.

It's...

2010-07-05T15:39:00.000-07:00

Really Good Books and Rants on Twits

Hi Everybody!

Firstly, I wanted to let you know how much I loved reading 32 Candles. In full disclosure, the author did workshop a few early pages in writing classes I attended. She is also the editor of Fierce And Nerdy, where I post as a Tall Drink of Nerd.

I got to see her writing early and could not WAIT for her book to be released. Now, I had only read about 6 pages before the publication. Ernessa has a writing style that is down-to-earth, but interesting and complex in a very good way.

So the book came in the mail, all pretty in pink (hey, I just got that was another John Hughes reference!) Since the main character is a poor black girl from the south, I was concerned that I wouldn't relate to her, but that worry quickly dissolved. It's just a great story and I was totally in Davie Jones' corner the ENTIRE book (Davie is the main girlie).

I devoured this novel. It was impossible just to put down. If you know me, you know that I am obsessed with volunteering at The Lange Foundation every Saturday. Well, on the Saturday that I was 1/2 way through 32 Candles, I did my level best to give those animals all sorts of love, but couldn't wait to get home to finish the darn book before the sun set.

I highly recommend 32 Candles. If you'd like to see how my taste in books run, check out my blog on FaN about it.

Now for something completely different (A woman with two buttocks)

Because I want to drive people to my blog Moons Over Monument, I started taking Twitter seriously. By taking it seriously, that means posting, following people and hoping they follow you back to drive traffic. Here are the things I discovered in the past 3 days of spending too much time on Twitter:

1. People take it seriously! There are apparently rules to what #MentionMonday, #WriterWednesday and #FollowFriday mean. Honestly, I am not yanking your chain, leg or any other swinging appendage. People take these rules seriously. I, as a newbie, failed and did a #FollowFriday on a #MentionMonday. Twitter-fail.

(I just saw that some very kind followers did a #FollowFriday for MOM. Even with my fail in my pocket, that warmed my heart cockles :-)

2. People take it seriously! One Tweeter from IL, followed me on Friday, then got all kinds of upset because I mentioned her on #mentionmonday. I put an intro: "I think I love these people." before about 5 twitter accounts, including hers (this was before I knew the rules and the difference between #MentionMonday and #FollowFriday) She said "I'm suspicious of you..." and blocked me. DUDE, it's an introduction to you and 4 other people to get followers to you. I am moderately stunned how people take this so seriously. (no, she wasn't 14, she is in her 30's!)

Apparently, I take it too seriously too, after all here I am blathering on about it here, soothing my bruised lettle ego...gonna zen out, and remember it's just Twitter. Also, going to remember that I don't have to tweet every thought that rambles through the corridor between my ears. I jumped into the deep end of the Tweet pool for a couple of days. Seems like a good time to mellow out on the steps in the shallows and sip a lemonade.

And now, The Spanish Inquisition (bet you weren't expecting that.)

Restrictive

2010-06-30T16:46:00.000-07:00

When the doctor said "no oranges, no strawberry, no chocolate, NO EGGS, no dairy, no wheat" - two thoughts went through my mind.

1. What in the world am I supposed to eat for breakfast?

2. But I haven't been to Paris yet!! (Food being the highlight of any tourism)

Ginger Ears

2010-06-25T09:19:00.001-07:00

I just had to share this somewhere on the cybernets. I have ginger in my ears.

If you've been around me the past 2 years, you know that I've been hit with Benign Positional Puddling Vertigo (It's BPPV, but I don't know what the second P is right now and I'm not looking it up. So there.) Basically, the world spins, I get dizzy and even more unbalanced than usual. I have sort of figured out the triggers; stress and cocoa powder. So, get stressed out, eat a brownie, go on a spin for about 2-6weeks. YAY!

We went to a specialist last week, she's doing blood tests and lots of other tests to check my allergies and hormones and stuff. Her approach is a blend of Western and Holistic medicines. She said that there really is no cure for vertigo. I take ginger supplements daily and she mentioned, off-hand that some people put a slice of ginger in the ear. Wha?

I couldn't find anything about it on the Google, so I just put it in my back-pocket for later use. Well later turned into today, the day after my 41st B-day (thankyouverymuch) I woke up fine, but started feeling tilty. I took some sudafed, my vitamins, ate and had some tea. Still feeling crooked, so I thought "What the heck, might as well give this a try."

So, I whacked off a small piece of ginger from the tiny root we bought last week and stuck a small piece in each ear. It felt cool, then odd, then warm from the ginger oils. I'm not certain it helped much with the dizziness, I'm a smidge more even-keel. It definitely improved my mood. I was laughing at myself for walking around with ginger in my ears.

What? I can't hear you, I have ginger in my ear.

Then, Now and Again, a Dork forever

2010-06-09T14:50:00.000-07:00

Howdy!

I really do want to blog more. I do think of something to write everyday, but, thinkin' ain't writin'. Someday the technology will be invented where I will just think the blog and it will appear. Oy, can you imagine how much idiocy would be released on the world if that happened? Um, I don't mean from me, I meant if everybody...nevermind... Here are some dorky pictures of me:

The reason I have these lovely shots up is this: My editor/friend Ernessa over at FierceAndNerdy is celebrating her book release by helping other people. How awesome is that?

Basically, she is asking people (you perhaps? Go HERE! for details) to submit a picture of yourself from high school, a picture of yourself now and answer three questions. For every submission, 32 CANDLES (her forth-coming novel) will make a donation to FFAWN a non-profit organization that promotes good decision-making, problem-solving skills and self-esteem in young girls.

Seriously Awesome. Just when I thought Ernessa couldn't get any effing cooler.

So I found some pix, and Seen said these were adorably nerdy, but the birthday is #11 and the pic with me rockin the red pants is from the first day of 7th grade, so not quite high school. Plus I was still kinda cute here. I'll post the Then and Now project when it's up with my fugly high school pic.

Or maybe you'll see it when you post your own pix!

Do it!

It's fun to look through old photo albums and laugh at the clothes you begged your Mom to buy you.

Snaggle Finds a Home - AKA The System Works

2010-05-23T15:57:00.000-07:00

Howdy!

I hope you all read my recent blog on Fierce And Nerdy about volunteering and falling in love at a local animal shelter. Good times...

One of the stars of that blog was Snaggle, a 10-yr old orange tabby, who is overwhelmingly lovable. We skipped last weekend at the shelter, because we were out of town. This morning when we went in, the Feline FIV+ cage was quieter than usual. My husband said "Where is Snaggle?" So I walked back to the big "Adoptions!" white board. Sure enough, his name was up there. Snaggle had found a home.

This is great news! He was/is an amazing cat who deserves a consistent lap and play and family. One of the workers said he was taken in by a couple who have experience dealing with FIV+ cats. So congrats Snaggle.

The news made me happy and sad all in the same moment. I'll miss seeing that rambunctious little rascal every weekend. The other FIV cats seemed a little subdued too, he was a good playmate. It's so rewarding to see that this actually works, that people come in and pass inspection and give these animals a good home. Snaggle's name was about 4th from the bottom of a list of about 25 cats. The dog adoption board had about the same number of adoptions for the month of May. All very good news for pets and peoples.

So Mazel Tov Snaggle! I'll miss you, in a very happy-for-you way.

And now, Andy Rooney

2010-05-01T14:04:00.001-07:00

I LOVE Andy Rooney!

I was about to write about my nerdy love of watching this guy complain about random things on my Fierce and Nerdy blog, but I caught the bit on InfoMania which pretty much encapsulates how I feel about Mr. Rooney. Which is AWESOME!! (click on Andy to see the InfoMania piece)

(and thank YOU 60 minutes for letting this guy stay on the air for 60 years.)

Simple Happiness

2010-04-20T18:31:00.000-07:00

Truth be told, I get in a funk sometimes. Usually it's related to being a lady and timing and stuff. My recent funkiness is starting to lift and one little girl at Target today illustrated funk-lifting beautifully.

I queued up in the checkout line with a young woman unloading her cart. In the back of the cart, with the paper-towels and fruit snacks, was a 3-4 yr old boy. Seated in the front of the cart was a 2 yr old girl. That girl was distraught, massive shiny wet tears rolled down her red cheeks. Her mouth was open in a yowling grimacing cry. I could see little white teeth and baby tonsils.

Being no help to the mother, I was laughing. Clearly the girl was just mad, the mother didn't seem to distressed by it, the mood wasn't dark at all. The mother turned to her baby and said "Somebody is cranky!" I stuck my tongue out at the girl and smiled, she just stared and continued to wail away.

Then a target cashier came over with a red balloon tied to a white nylon string. She tied it to the handle of the cart and the little girl looked around, looked up at the balloon and her crying turned to shoulder shrugging sighs. Then she smiled.

Seen was waiting for me about 10 ft away, he was smiling too. I pointed at the balloon and said to him, "Remember this trick for the next time I have PMS."

All hail the simple healing power of a red balloon.

Stairway to Heh-vuhn

2010-03-24T13:34:00.000-07:00

Isn't that the way the song goes? In an ongoing effort, er, in a renewed effort to be eat healthy, I've posted a recipe for the most phenomenal chocolate chip cookies ever on my Fierce and Nerdy Blog (possibly even better than the apology cookies.) I'm almost hesitant to tell you they are not only Gluten Free, but vegan.

AND in the effort to regain being physically fit, I have added some stair climbing to my morning walk. These stairs to be precise:

That's just 1 of 5 portions. My March stated goal was to go up and down these 5 times at one go. I've done 4 times, each of the past 2 days and my calves hurt, but I'm picturing my J-Lo booty getting firm. Could use some new uptempo music to make my time on the stairs a tad easier!

Also, after watching my buddy Rachel run the L.A. Marathon last weekend, Sean and I discussed doing a 10k or a half-marathon. I'm in serious consideration to join the Leukemia and Lymphoma Team in Training for the Disneyland Half Marathon in September. I figure that I already think about Dad a lot while I'm out there walking/climbing/running, I might as well be raising money to defeat the disease that took him from us. The $2,200 fundraising goal is almost as daunting as running 13.1 miles, but I think I'm up for the challenge.

Now I'm off to ice my shin splints. Keep those cards and letters coming!

Apology Cookies

2010-03-04T21:00:00.000-08:00

It's Friday! Yippee! Since I'm a celebrating the 1 year anniversary of not having a full-time job, weekends probably don't have the same sweetness for me as they do for y'all, but they're still pretty sweet.

Speaking of sweetness, here is my Friday Sugar Chase hook-up. T hese cookies make me giggle. I stumbled across Sugar Mama on Etsy, and offer my kudo's for originality.

Disclaimer: I normally don't think nekkid mens/womens bachelor party favor pastries are funny. IMHO dirty-parts molded out of lollypops/cakes/cookies/candy necklaces are just lazy humor. But somehow, these seem different. Just check out how happy that bondage cookie is!

Also wanted to also share with you the pic of cookies I made last weekend.

Last Saturday was rainy and cold and we were stuck inside, glued to the CNN, watching the "Tsunami" hit Hawaii. It seemed like the perfect day to turn on the oven to warm the place up and make some cookies while we're at it. I LOVE to bake, but don't do it often anymore because all of the wheat and sugar involved in delicious baked products, make me feel poopy. Luckily the cookies I had in mind already had an adoptive home waiting.

I needed to make apology cookies. See, we purchased a Wii Fit in January and have been hopping, hooping and generally enjoying the thing ever since. I had been meaning to make cookies, for the neighbor who lives directly below us, as an apology for our recent Fit activity. So here they are, arguably, the best chocolate chip cookies I have ever made. Our downstairs neighbor seemed happy and surprised to get yummy goodies!

This recipe is from CooksIllustrated. Seen gave me an annual online subscription as my Xmas giftie (smart boy).

This coming weekend is supposed to be rainy too, so just in case you felt like baking; here is the recipe, complete with scientific reasons they are better than regular cookies:

<--Apology cookies, right outta the oven

Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookies
Makes 16 cookies. Published May 1, 2009. From ATK Books.

Avoid using a nonstick skillet to brown the butter; the dark color of the nonstick coating makes it difficult to gauge when the butter is browned. Use fresh, moist brown sugar instead of hardened brown sugar, which will make the cookies dry. This recipe works with light brown sugar, but the cookies will be less full-flavored. For our winning brand of chocolate chips, see related tasting.

1 3/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (8 3/4 ounces)
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
14 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 3/4 sticks)
1/2 cup granulated sugar (3 1/2 ounces)
3/4 cups packed dark brown sugar (5 1/4 ounces) (see note)
1 teaspoon table salt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
1 1/4 cups semisweet chocolate chips or chunks (see note)
3/4 cup chopped pecan or walnuts, toasted (optional)

Instructions
1. Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 375 degrees. Line 2 large (18- by 12-inch) baking sheets with parchment paper. Whisk flour and baking soda together in medium bowl; set aside.

2. Heat 10 tablespoons butter in 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat until melted, about 2 minutes. Continue cooking, swirling pan constantly until butter is dark golden brown and has nutty aroma, 1 to 3 minutes. Remove skillet from heat and, using heatproof spatula, transfer browned butter to large heatproof bowl. Stir remaining 4 tablespoons butter into hot butter until completely melted.

3. Add both sugars, salt, and vanilla to bowl with butter and whisk until fully incorporated. Add egg and yolk and whisk until mixture is smooth with no sugar lumps remaining, about 30 seconds. Let mixture stand 3 minutes, then whisk for 30 seconds. Repeat process of resting and whisking 2 more times until mixture is thick, smooth, and shiny. Using rubber spatula or wooden spoon, stir in flour mixture until just combined, about 1 minute. Stir in chocolate chips and nuts (if using), giving dough final stir to ensure no flour pockets remain.

4. Divide dough into 16 portions, each about 3 tablespoons (or use #24 cookie scoop). Arrange 2 inches apart on prepared baking sheets, 8 dough balls per sheet. (Smaller baking sheets can be used, but will require 3 batches.)

5. Bake cookies 1 tray at a time until cookies are golden brown and still puffy, and edges have begun to set but centers are still soft, 10 to 14 minutes, rotating baking sheet halfway through baking. Transfer baking sheet to wire rack; cool cookies completely before serving.

Recipe Testing
Don't Bake in Batches Baking two trays at a time may be convenient, but it leads to uneven cooking. The cookies on the top tray are often browner around the edges than those on the bottom, even when rotated halfway through cooking.

Recipe Testing
Creating a New Classic Here's how we improved on the Toll House classic to create an even better cookie.

TOLL HOUSE RECIPE: Equal Amounts Brown and White Sugar A 1-1 ratio of brown to white sugar creates a cookie that's neither crisp nor chewy.

OUR RECIPE: More Brown Sugar Using more brown sugar than white makes for a chewier cookie.

TOLL HOUSE RECIPE: Creamed Solid Butter Creaming butter creates a cakier texture in cookies.

OUR RECIPE: Browned, Melted Butter Melting butter contributes to chewiness; browning it enhances flavor.

TOLL HOUSE RECIPE: 2 Whole Eggs Whole eggs contribute to a drier texture.

OUR RECIPE: 1 Whole Egg, 1 Yolk Eliminating one egg white also boosts chewiness.

TOLL HOUSE RECIPE: Beat and Bake Baking the dough immediately after mixing doesn't allow the sugar to dissolve as fully as possible.

OUR RECIPE: Whisk and Wait Whisking sugar into the liquid ingredients and then waiting 10 minutes allows more of it to dissolve, setting up better flavor and texture.

TOLL HOUSE RECIPE: Less Dough The smaller the cookie, the more uniform its texture.

OUR RECIPE: More Dough Three tablespoons of dough per cookie increases its crisp-chewy contrast.

Recipe Testing

For Perfect Cookies, Look to Sugar Crunchy edges, chewy centers, and big butterscotch flavors—that chocolate chip cookie framework sounded pretty sweet to us. As it turns out, perfect cookies have a lot to do with sugar and how it’s treated. Sugar that is dissolved in liquid before baking caramelizes more readily than sugar that simply melts when exposed to the same amount of heat. What would happen if we rested our cookie batter after we added the sugar to allow more of it to dissolve before going into the oven?   

EXPERIMENT -  We prepared two batches of our Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookies. Dough from the first batch went straight from the mixing bowl onto the baking sheet; the other batch rested for 10 minutes (with occasional whisking) after we combined the sugar with the recipe’s liquids.  

RESULTS -  Cookies baked from the rested batter boasted not only richer, deeper flavor but also crisper edges.  

EXPLANATION  - Dissolving the sugar in liquid provided by the melted butter, vanilla, and egg (accelerated by whisking and resting) affects both flavor and texture. Dissolved sugar breaks down more quickly from crystalline sucrose into glucose and fructose, which caramelize at a lower temperature to form many rich, new flavor compounds. As the dissolved, caramelized sugar cools, it takes on a brittle structure. In our cookies, this brittle texture is more evident at the edges. Why? As the oven burns off moisture from the cookie perimeter, the remaining moisture gets pulled into the center, keeping it chewy.

Gimme Some Sugar, Baby

2010-02-25T10:49:00.000-08:00

You may have noticed, by the tone of my blogumns on Fierce and Nerdy, that I am obsessed with sugar. Baking is fun, social, creative and can be hilarious. Other folks must feel that same way because the internets are filled with drool-worthy recipes/imagery that need to be shared with YOU!

So going forward, Friday is going to be Sugar Chaser day on my ole blog here.

Here is the Sugar Chase o' the Week from the OMG blog NotSoHumblePie:

Cookies for Geeks! (Dude, that's the periodic table...in cookies!)

The dichotomy of this is that I know that sugar is bad, bad, bad for you. It's a toxin, it destroys cells, it ages you faster, it makes me grumpy and crampy and fat. Yup, my brain is smart. More often than not my brain controls what my hand puts into my mouth. But sometimes, when my brain isn't looking, I'll sneak a cookie in. (When I worked at the regional office for The Whole, I managed to convince my brain that organic meant healthy. On a steady diet of organic sugar cookies, I gained 15 lbs.)

Bird in the Hand

2010-02-23T08:55:00.000-08:00

Free beer and big boobies! Since the blog feed onto my Facebook page usually publishes the first sentence of this blog, I figure that this particular sentence would help increase my readership. (I know, grammar police, it's not a sentence. AND I know, Gramma police, it's a little risque with the large amount of my family on FB, so don't show mom...) Check out the blue-footed Boobies to the left there.

So the first order of business today is to direct you to my tasty, lip-smacking donut obsessed Fierce and Nerdy Blog. I haven't had a donut in like a year, probably since I had a full time job come to think of it. I guess I'll go eat some frozen strawberries... That'll make me feel better than any old delicious, old fashioned, white cake with a light glaze donut that melts on my tongue and leaves little crumbs on my desk that I can pick up with the tip of my finger as little dessert treat donuts.

Second order of biz; update on the Writer's Conference. Little ole' shy me had an absolutely phenomenal time! The workshops were all really inspiring and educational and, man, the people I met were hilarious and so open and welcoming. I wish I could find a job just going to writing conferences, now that I know what to wear. (Though I was completely exhausted by the time I got home Sunday night.) HUGE thanks to Marilyn from Writing Pad, for driving and feeding me. I can not wait for her writing retreat in October in 29 Palms!

There was an amazing, life-changing, free-beering, boob-expanding 3rd point, but I've totally forgotten what it was. See what happens to a woman with no sugar in her system and amalgam fillings in her teeth.

I'll sign off with a quote from my donut eating inspiration - Homer J. Simpson - "Maybe it's the beer talking, but you've got a butt that won't quit..."

Drum Sticks

2010-02-10T16:23:00.000-08:00

Hey! How are you? I've been meaning to call, but have been so busy!

Ok, that's not true, we got a Wii Fit and that's pretty much my reality now. I'll see you in March.

When I was home to visit the ole Mom's last month, she mentioned that she and her brother were talking about their kids. Mom and Uncle Bill both agreed that me and Roger (Bill's son) were the weird ones in the family.

2 days later, out of the blue, it hit me and I said "HEY! What do you mean the 'weird ones'?"

Mom said that I march to the beat of my own drummer. Which I think is an odd statement. Doesn't everybody march to the beat of their own drum? Is there some sort of universal drumming that I can't hear that everybody else can? I've already written about how I am the black/different sheep in my herd, so that information doesn't surprise me. I am just having a hard time figuring out how the rest of you normals find the regular beat.

OH and read my FaN column this week. It's all about love and cupid and the marketing hype that is Valentimes Day.

Pah rum pah rum pum

Feels Like the First Time

2010-02-04T14:34:00.000-08:00

I'm going to my very first writer's conference next weekend and am starting to spaz out a little. I'm trying to figure out what to wear, what to bring, how much of every thing I should bring, will there be food, will there be bathrooms, will the other kids like me, should I bring my paper bag so I stop hyperventilating...

So far I've got my briefcase thingie, my laptop, some business cards and the semi-organization of the novel/biography I've been working on. (I'm doing the conference's novel writing intensive, so I figured that'd be good.) Other than that I'm clueless and worried I'll end up wearing a prom dress when jeans are the norm, or visa versa, and will have everything I need but a pen. Perhaps I should take my own advice and breathe a little.

If you've been to a writers conference, do you have any little tips that aren't obvious and would be hella helpful? (Like all beauty contestants know to put vaseline on their teeth. Is that helpful at writer's conferences?)

I'm super excited to go. My stomach has the butterfly version of jazz hands because I'm so anxious to get there, get connected and get writing.

Breathing and bikes

2010-01-11T13:07:00.000-08:00

Aaaaggghhh!!! That's how I've decided to start my blogs now. It came to me as I was clipped by a bike speeding down the sidewalk. That was the noise I made. Ya like?

The noises I made afterward were fun too, it was mostly mumbling - "GAw, I hate stupid cyclists who don't follow rules!!" "I should have taken off my shoe and thrown it at his head!" "I wish I would have had my arm out and clotheslined him." (BTW, not the guy in the picture...)

I ride a bicycle around Santa Monica, in the bike lane, using my little adorable bike bell if pedestrians are nearby. Can I invoke Karma to kick this guys butt?

So I came home and listened to a meditation from The Meditation Society of Australia. ahhhh. I've been meditating a lot more the last few months. You can read about the tools I've found and how it's perked me right up on my latest Fierce And Nerdy blogumn!

Be careful out there!

Chilly is a Relative Term

2010-01-07T17:25:00.000-08:00

Because all my relatives are chilly, back in Colorado, Kansas, Minnesota, etc...

In my ongoing effort to get any of them to visit me, here is a picture taken yesterday, January 6th at around 11:30 am. Temp: 75 degrees.

I'm not posting this to do anything other than getcha out here!

PS: Colorado weather this winter is not helping me convince Sean (or myself) to move back. Can you guys get on that?

Conversations between Married People

2010-01-01T20:51:00.000-08:00

I find those weirdly intimate conversations, that can only take place between married people, hilarious. Here is one that happened today:

Me - "Honey, what's the temperature outside?"

Sean - "62, Why?"

Me (who is wearing a sundress as it is California and forecast was for 72 degrees today) - "Because I'm trying to decide if I should put pants on when we go out for our walk."

Sean - "Well, I'm not putting on pants. I'm just going out in my underwear."

Me - "---"

Where On Earth?

2009-12-30T16:41:00.000-08:00

Where is the best place to take a 1 week vacation. (AND when is the best time to go there?)

It is decided. As a shared News Years Resolution, Seen and I have decided to "go somewhere". We've never actually gone anywhere as tourists. Well, we went to Hawaii once, but shared that vacation with 3 other people, so we didn't get to be as tourist-y as we could. This year, we will get our passports and head out into the world. Do you have any suggestions? What was your fav. vacation (Favcation) and what time of year should we go? April in Paris? August in New Zealand, May in Yellowstone?

There are determining factors here, the first being an influx of income. The unemployment, which we are both on, isn't exactly "traveling money". It does allow for a LOT of time for travel. I am optimistically thinking his new creative venture will explode and we'll have lots of clams for moving around the world.

Secondly is; some guy just put explosive in his underpants and made travel a tad more difficult for the rest of us. Thank goodness nobody got hurt this time. Restrictions and security is now tighter/longer/harder (stop it, this is a family friendly blog.) Since we are not criminals, I think we'll just add an hour here and there to the schedule and should be able to weather that difficulty.

Thirdly is; other commitments/animal care. The year is planned out thusly so far (yes, all events require travel): Friday - Writers Conference on V-Day weekend (San Diego), March - I spend a week with my Mother Dear (CO), May - Niece graduates from grad. school weekend (SFO), June - another niece gets hitched (CO), I have moderate promises from 2 other nieces that they will visit me (come on down!!) So somewhere's in there, we'll sneak in a vacation for the stressed out, newly wealthy (fingers crossed) Robinsons.

Happy New Year friends! May all your travels and adventures this year be safe ones.

The Moment

2009-11-03T19:40:00.000-08:00

I shall not start every blog with the note, "It's been awhile since I've written here", though it is so often appropriate.

Also I like to list things. So here are the 2 things I'm here for today:

A. Just checked out pix from Halloween. This year has put a ton of stress on my body and MAN do I look tired and a little old.

2. I haven't been driving. Even though my job is about 18 miles away from my abode, Seen drives me to work in the morning and I've been catching the express bus home every night. (BTW, Seen is a frickin awesome, selfless, wonderful, handsome, talented, intelligent person. I am a lucky wifey.) So I bring the iPod with me to listen to Huck Finn on the way home. Gotta keep me entertained, as I am an American and god forbid I am alone with my thoughts for 2 minutes. Tonight, the iPod died, even though I charged it all night last night. The iPod started up, said "charge me", gave me the finger and RIP'ed it just as I started my ride. So, I looked out the window.

Best thing that happened to me today. Out the west window of a southbound bus on a dark LA freeway was a river of light. The grainy sunshade on the buses giant window was blocking any definition in the cars out there, so all I saw were thousands of lights, gliding past me. It was like walking on stars...I turned it into a meditation and it was awe-some. There is unexpected beauty all around us.

Just thought I'd share that with you.

Curbside Special

2009-09-26T15:05:00.000-07:00

I got two stories for you today and they are both about cats. Okay, the second story is a little bit about how Whiskey Tango we are, but mainly, cats...

1. Munchy: Munchy is very spunky and yelly and loved. Seen took this picture when she was yelling at him to pet her. I think it's the most adorabley cute and pathetic picture I've ever seen of anything or anyone, ever.
Munchy is now 17.5 years old. We've been giving her sub-Q fluids, every other morning, for the past 6 months. After a few months of the fluids, Munchy's left eye got glassy and stopped responding to light.The eye thing was due to her high blood pressure, so we got a pill for that. About a month ago, Munchy started yelling for no reason. She would just sit and yell, at the water dish, at thin air. The vet said she had "ropey" intestines and they were probably ulcerated. She gets a compounded pill for that, and a 1/2 a pepcid a day. She's doing fine right now, just funnily pathetic in pictures.

***
Story #2. Curbside shopping - So our downstairs neighbors moved out. They left this fairly nice, dark cherry wood futon with a nice, rust Muslin covered mattress on it just sitting on the curb. I haven't been feeling well (vertigo from all the crappy stress) but when Seen mentioned it was on the front lawn when he'd gone downstairs about 2 hours earlier, I thought, "ok". He mildly suggested maybe we should go get it and sell it. We'd sold our own, space hogging, ugly, Ikea futon about a month ago.

I said, "I'm not proud. We're unemployed. Let's just go check it out" Something you should know; when we lived in Chicago, we was broke. Neither one of us comes from any kind of money, not even the "I'm just comfortable" kind. We furnished our apartments with couches, chairs, bookshelves, tables, etc... found on front lawns and alleys around town on the night after moving day (May 1st for the uninitiated). We actually found some well made antiques that way. A lot of our friends did it too. Of course, most of our friends were actors and musicians. Make what you want to outta that.

Moving on, we went down to check out the futon, it was very nice. The cover was top of the line, there were no scratches on it, no fur shed on it, no cigarette smell, nothin. It was Pottery Barn nice (which is $$ to our kind) So we brought it upstairs and planned to put it up on Craigslist and make $50, what the heck right? Only...

Only Ling Ling thought it was the best present we ever got her. She doesn't scratch at it, she just jumps all over it, rubs her face on it, rolls around on it and has the happiest dang look on her little multi-colored face. So we're keeping it. It has a smaller footprint than our old futon, and it is very nice. Happy Birthday Ling Ling. We got you a 2nd hand futon.

3. KoE: Kitten of Evil doesn't have a story. I just wanted to include a picture of here as equal time for all cutans.

Well Put.

2009-09-03T16:23:00.000-07:00

Hey folks,

I follow this blog of a fellow who owns an elderly cat named Munchy. I also own an elderly cat named Munchy. Both cats figure into our blogs in different ways.

Yesterday, after I posted the bit about Dad and the answering machine, Joseph posted a poem about grief. It was spot on, so I figured I'd direct you to it. Click Here to see feeling put into a short bit of words.

Thank you Joseph of Troy Bear for your way with language.

Answering Machine

2009-09-02T17:36:00.000-07:00

My Dad passed away one week ago today. I won't go into it, because I don't think I'm ready to just yet. I'll just tell ya, he'd been sick for over a year and had been in the hospital since mid-June. I wrote a little bit about that when I went home to visit in July.

Dad had Mom call all the kids last Monday to come home because he knew he was close to the end. We all got there Monday night, had one last night of laughter, tears and chatter with him and then he slipped into unconsciousness Monday night and passed away at 5:58 am Wednesday, August 26th. He was surrounded by all 5 of his children, his wife and one grandchild (he had 11).

I stayed at home with my family through the funeral and then flew home late Saturday night. It doesn't seem quite real when I'm this far away. I called my Mom today, just to chat, but she wasn't home. She's off shopping for groceries with one of my sisters. So the answering machine picked up the call. It's my Dad's voice. It's weird to think he's not really there.

Lazy Daze

2009-08-10T13:30:00.000-07:00

oh. hello.

I honestly haven't been doing much of anything of interest lately, so I haven't been blogging. I know, that hasn't stopped me before.

Alright then, smarty pantses, here is my latest FierceAndNerdy blog all about what an awful cook I am. With the exception of Chicken Pesto Ravioli's, which now I think I'm allergic to basil, so looks like it's back to just baking for me.

Ah well, it's best for this world that I stay outta the kitchen.

Looking at the Moon

2009-07-28T14:58:00.000-07:00

Hi,

I know, it's been awhile. Two days after my last post, Seen got laid off, no notice. (I haven't had a paycheck in about 3 months)

3 days after Seen got laid off, my Dad was diagnosed with Acute Leukemia. Dad has been living with MDS for over a year, so this new diagnosis was not the best news. I wrote about that in a blogumn for my friend Ernessa's blog, FierceAndNerdy.com

It's been a craptacular year, or two. But...I'm focusing on the positive this very moment. The positives are:

1. Living in a beach community now, which is a great place to be unemployed! It's much better than being unemployed during the summer in the sweltering valley.

2. Dad recovered from his latest brink of doom sinus infection and hopefully he might be able to make it home from the hospital within the next month or two.

3. I get to hang out with Seen all the time!

4. While in CO, I got to be with all manner of family and they are awesome!

5. Munchy has responded well to her treatment for CRF and high blood pressure. She has her bad days, but she's pretty spry for a 17 yr old cat.

6. I got my health! Which I am maintaining by working out fer free at Muscle Beach (see this weeks FierceAndNerdy post.)

7. Lots and lots more

Now I'm gonna go do something summery, beachy and life-affirming, because all this crud has pointed out one giant fact. All we get is today, let's make the most of it.

Fawty with my Shawty (or eating on my birthday)

2009-06-25T12:38:00.000-07:00

Why, hello again!

Yesterday was my birthday and anniversary (Birthaversary) so I am now 1 day older and deeper in debt, literally, cause we spent some ka-ching yesterday!

Since it was so low-key phenomenal, and totally all about eating, I figured I'd give you the highlights (with minimal pix, cause we forgot the camera like dummies):

1st - Wanted to start the day with yoga, but was sleepy. We said screw-it and slept in. Sean made me delicious protein pancakes with berries. That was healthy right?!?

2nd - gym, ran, weights, sweated, did not feel like a total gluttonous lump...yet.

3rd - Lunch reservations at The Huntley Penthouse, which is a fabulous hotel about 1 block south. It's normally way to fabulous for the likes of us, but Seen got me a saucy black dress as a present, so we decided we could fit in. The view is gorgeous. The restaurant is on the 16th floor, exactly 2 blocks east of the Santa Monica beach, so you can pretty much see up and down the coast through giant windows that surround the space. I was facing the beach, so that's the view I had. Seen was facing the restaurant, so he got to look at me (great view...) AND pretty much the whole city. We both had the crispy skin salmon, which was served on tomato coulis. Is it still a healthy lunch if I had a big ole Mojito. The salmon was good, the mojito was ok, I kept burping mint the rest of the day (TMI?)

4th - We met Irma at Oceana, which is a swank hotel about 1 block north of us. Due to it's swankness and celebritardness, they don't usually allow non-guests to come into the lounge, which is right off the pool area. We just walked in like we belonged and nobody bothered us :)

The Oceana makes a toasted marshmallow shake that Irma had told me about 3-4 weeks ago. I figured it was a good b-day desert. I was right, it tasted like a toasted marshmallow shake, which costs $14. Lets just say I'm gonna figure out how to make those at home.

5th - Exhausted by the days exploits (of walking 3-4 blocks for foods) we decided to skip our beach plans and just hang at home and make dinner. I made pesto, tossed some chicken I'd baked earlier into the food processor with the pesto and then made home-made ravioli's with the filling. Now I really want a pasta maker, cause I just can't roll this dough out thin enough! As I am normally a horrible cook, I'll take the raves we both gave this effort.

See, nothing too exciting, just food, lots of delicious food! Seen made the day wonderful by taking off work and hanging out with me. I kinda wish every day was my birthday (then I'd be a little over 14,000)

Textercising - Copyright Stinky Junior

2009-06-16T16:05:00.000-07:00

This post makes me feel a little like Andy Rooney, only I'm not as funny or as saggy (yet): Didya ever wonder who is so important that they have to be texting while they're on a treadmill?

We're going to the gym now instead of Muscle Beach, which is not happy making because I am still sans iPod and our current gym is like 4 blocks from UCLA, so it's filled with beautiful co-eds who are probably very smart, but because I'm shallow and they're pretty, let's just say they are vapid and I prefer working out on Muscle Beach, well, cause it's on the beach and it's all gymnastical and body weight. (and it's cool.)

But Seen hurt his ankle on the Santa Monica stairs, and we're workout buddies, so we go to the gym so he can avoid feet related exercises, like slippery stairs and walking and such.

While at the gym, I try to just focus on my own mat, as they say in yoga. Focus on my own workout, but hell, there are pretty co-eds of both varieties to look at. Lots of eye candy and fashion ideas. What cracks me up is the 40% of girls, and about 3% of the boys, who are texting while they work out. I can not relate (or conjugate) to textercisers.

Dude, I don't really like going to the gym, so I'm gonna actually make an effort while I'm there, so I can get OUT of there. Why go if you're just gonna kinda pedal on the stationary bike while textercising or sorta do crunches while your thumbs are flying away? Okay, you do look good in your Juicy sweat gear, but there is a Coffee Bean 3 doors away... Much less effort down there, and they have cookies!

"I just don't get it." Amy Rooney

No Wheaties

2009-06-04T14:43:00.000-07:00

Beer. I love beer.

Unfortunately, I also have that whole "sensitivity to wheat" thing going on, so beer stuffs me up and gives me hella hangover the next morning, even if I only have one! Life seemed so unfair, until...

Hurray for Redbridge! A delightful beer that has a wonderfully rich red flavor. It is made with sorghum instead of wheat, so no hangover (ok, hangover may occur if you have more than, say, 2 or 3.) I've tried several gluten-free beers and this one is the tastiest (also the most readily available.) We've asked our local liquor store to stock it and I know that BevMo does carry it.

Redbridge is Anheuser-Busch's answer for the alcoholic, beer-loving Celiac suffering crowd and we say 'Thank you sirs!"

Inspirational Pigeons

2009-06-01T10:36:00.000-07:00

It's mid-year (almost) and my mid-year resolutions have just kicked in. Okay they were kicked in last week, but hey, I'm an early starter.

Big resolution: Since I am "Fun-employed" I am treating my writing like a job. I have a set, scheduled time to write daily. I've been going to the Coffee Bean and writing for 1-2 hours every morning. (Ok, 4 mornings in the last week).

There are two pigeons hanging around the Coffee Bean who are "handicapped": Stumpy, who has one regular foot and one foot with just one talon on a stump and, the guy I saw this morning with two toes that are black and turn up on the end of his foot. Ouch.

They don't seem to let their handicap stop them, so I'm oddly inspired by them. I've got good feet, aside from a slight case of plantar faciitis, and no health problems. If these little moochers can make a go of it, I guess I can make it out of the house to write.

I'll try to get a pic of Stumpy tomorrow. I always try to slip him some scone without the other pigeons noticing, maybe he'll see me and pose for the camera.

sticky kitty

2009-05-28T16:27:00.001-07:00

In the Lessons I've Learned from Munchy file.

Liquid cat laxative, Lactulose, doesn't always go down the hatch properly. Sometimes, even when you think it's all in, it can bubble up out mouth corners and and drip onto fur.

Lactulose makes for sticky fur if not thoroughly washed off immediately. Munchy has a few pointy spots here and there on her fur. Petting her comes with an occasional fun and pokey discovery now.

And now for something completely different, Munchy action shots:

Yup, she's nutty.

One Year

2009-05-04T16:16:00.000-07:00

One year ago, on May 4th, our Weasel passed away. Weasel was one of a kind. Since she didn't have a memorial or couldn't have an obituary, I thought I'd write a few words about her here. So that her legacy lives someplace outside of the hearts of her people, who miss her still.

Sean rescued Weasel and her sister Munchy from a house filled with noisy children and dogs and lots of other cats in August of 1992. She was a 4 month old, bossy runt of a grey striped kitten. Anytime we moved, and we moved every year, she ran around the new digs, yelling and owning the place immediately while her sister would find any closet to hide in.

As a kitten, we would take Wease into the yard and toss roses from the rose bushes or dandelions into the yard for her. She would chase them and bring them back in her mouth. She must have missed that game, for a few years after we decided to keep her indoors, she would pull socks out of the sock drawer and walk around the house yowling. We called her the sock killer. And we could never keep flowers in the house. Weasel loved to eat roses, and then throw them back up.

During the first 6 months I was in California, before Sean moved out and I was all alone in the heart of a pre-gentrified Hollywood, Weasel was my comfort. She slept next to me on the tiny futon on the floor and loved me in my loneliness.

As she aged she developed some odd habits; she loved being held and nursing on the shoulder of a terry-cloth robe. At some point she decided it would be awesome to stick her nose into my ear and start licking. It wasn't a constant occurrence, but when it happened, she purred with kitty glee and we cringed and laughed at the tickling.

Weasel was the cat who would always come out and say Hi to guests. She always wanted to meet people and be in the middle of the conversation. When she passed, several people who knew her agreed she was the best, most sociable cat they had known.

She was sick for a while, losing weight for a good 6 months with no diagnosis as to what the problem was from the vet. Then, one night she just suddenly jumped off my chest and ran out of the room. I knew then that something was seriously wrong. She stopped eating, she threw up 5-6 times a day. I took her to the vet for fluids and diagnosis, but he was cold "how long do you want to experiment". I didn't want to experiment, I just wanted Weasel to be ok. I called the House Call vet to come see her as soon as he could, Sunday May 4th 2008.

Friday and Saturday we gave her IV fluids but on Saturday afternoon she was obviously gravely sick. She even turned her head when offered bits of turkey. She hadn't eaten anything of substance since Monday morning. She even threw up water immediately and continued throwing up over and over again.

Sunday morning, she laid next to me in her usual position, tucked between my arm and my body with her front legs extended, kneading my bicep. She yelled at me and jumped onto the counter to drink water. I petted her boney back and her sweet head and she loved me back. When the vet came, he explained that she was very, very sick and after much description and discussion gently helped us come to the conclusion that she was in a downward spiral with more and more days like Saturday ahead of her. He helped us in our decision to help her out of her pain.

At 4:45 he gave our Weasel a sedative. I rocked her in my arms. I kissed her head and told her that I loved her. I thanked her for taking care of me for 16 loving years. She slowly licked her lips a few times and then she stopped. Then the vet gave her an injection that took the spirit of Weasel out of that tiny grey body, leaving only the shell.

No sad music played on a soundtrack for Weasel. There wasn't a list of her accomplishments in the paper. I told people about her, but she there was so much to her, I'll never remember everything. But some of it is here, so she won't be lost forever. I won't forget all the good.

She was the best cat, friendly to strangers, ornery and funny and extremely loving. I love you The Cheese. I still miss you. You are irreplaceable.

Hustling for my Blog

2009-05-04T13:14:00.000-07:00

Hiya,

The truth has finally come out. I was indeed a model for Hustler.

Hustler Clothing that is, and the pictures were never published. Check out the whole story on my FaN Blog.

BTW, my eyes are up here.

(naturally sexy)

Turn and Face the Strange

2009-04-10T15:15:00.000-07:00

I'm taking a break from the packing and sorting to talk to you fine folks today. It's been a few weeks since we've chatted and I'm feeling reflective.

We're moving. We're leaving the house and moving into an apartment. I am so flipping excited because we are moving out of the hot and smoggy valley into a lovely place that is approximately 2 blocks from the ocean. We'll be within walking distance from the beach and from lots of theatres, restraunts, bars and lots of other things to do. It's exactly where we want to live, in the middle of lots of stuff!

While packing up our life, I can't help but take stock of what I'll be happy to be rid of and what I'll miss. I already miss the BBQ grill that we sold at the Yard Sale 2 weeks ago. I'll miss the hot tub when the nice lady comes to pick it up on Monday. I will completely miss having a washer/dryer in my pantry. I know the cats will miss the show constantly on in our backyard. Just last night an adorable little posseum tight-walked the back fence when Seen and I were in the hot tub only 4 feet away. I'll miss sitting in the hammock with my hubby, drinking a beer at sunset while the crickets and the finches sing to us.

To the next owners of this house I gladly leave the giant, weed-filled yard. I am thrilled to walk away from the blowtorch oven that runs about twice as hot as it should. Good-riddance to the roots growing in the plumbing and the poor patch job that the roofers did to the one panel on the carport.

For the first 14 years of my relationship with Seen (just about my whole adult life) I've moved every single year. Then we bought this house, a purchase we stepped into earlier than we had planned to accomodate his mother moving in with us. We have lived here for 4 years. His mother moved away, we did some renovations, planted a few failed gardens, had a TV show do more renovations. We gained our Ling Ling when the neighbors tossed her into the yard and lost our beloved Weasel in the back room last year.

I have wanted to move, out of this neighborhood, out of this house for nearly 2 years. While I'm excited to get started in a new place, with fresher air and a busier neighborhood, we've built memories here. Memories travel well, but a part of me always stay in our little ranch house in the Valley.

Here I am now, entertain me.

2009-03-16T17:35:00.000-07:00

Hello over by you,

I have sour belly from riding about in the car all day today. Urp.

I just wanted to alert you to my new blog (Seriously, how many blogs should one person have?? )
Apparently, I'm very fascinated by me.

Don't you judge me, just check out my blog about learning things from Ling Ling. It's entertaining to Seen, and honestly, that's all that really matters.

Ole Narcissus

Expired

2009-03-11T12:44:00.000-07:00

Hi! I know it's been awhile and today will be a shortish post.

Today is my 3rd unemployed day, but really the first day I haven't been entirely stressed out. I'm starting to think straight! I will never post about work-stuff, just not my style. I will tell you what I did today that made me ponder 3 different odd things.

We keep some supplies on hand in case of earthquake or other emergencies. I decided to take a quick look at our stash, see if anything needed to be used or updated. Here are the 3 weird things:

1. The 2.5 gallon water jug was empty. The cabinet wasn't wet and the nozzle wasn't open. There was a small hole on the top of the jug. Could 2.5 gallons have evaporated? Weird.

2. Did you know that rice has an expiration date? Why exactly does rice have an expiration date?

3. Today is Wednesday, March 11, 2009. The peanut butter in our stash has an expiration date of March 11, 2009. That is a weird coincidence. I think I'm gonna make P-nut butter cookies!

Okay folkies, I've gotta get this house in order. (and make it smell like cookies...) In case you missed my FierceAndNerdy post about Watchmen, go here and make a comment, but DON'T tell me what happens, for the luva...

BURGLED! (The Musical)

2009-02-16T08:55:00.000-08:00

Or - Things We Lost in the Break-In. (There is no music available, as my iTunes library was on my stolen laptop)

For those of you who hadn't guessed from my not-very-cryptic status posts on Facebook, our house was broken into on Friday the 13th. Seen came home early, he had a bad reaction to some nuts (tee hee) and wasn't feeling very well at work. At 2:23 pm, he called me and said "I have some really bad news..." The blood left my face, I feared that our old lady Munchy, 17 yr old tabby, who is in moderate health, had passed-on while we were at work.

"Somebody broke into the house, ransacked the place and stole a bunch of stuff...They got your laptop." He sounded stressed, I flipped out and said "I'll be right home" and proceeded to run about the office telling everyone I had to leave. I'm certain that I was moderately insane in my goodbyes.

The 45 minutes it took me to get home in the rain made for the longest commute in history. I got home, and was relieved to find Seen and all the cats in good shape. In the 5 hours we waited for the cops to show up and photograph the place and take our statements, we called our banks, credit cards and did an inventory of what had been taken. Of course the Wii that was all of 2 weeks old was gone, the PS3 we'd splurged on for our Xmas present was gone, Seen's birthday iPod Nano - gone, as was my 4 yr old iPod, all the cables to the old XBox were gone, but the XBox was still in residence. The biggest loss was my Mac Powerbook laptop.

Now, this laptop needed replacing, in the 4 years we've had it I'd knocked it on the floor one too many times. The power source was bent and needed seriously finagling to charge properly (which was probably a fire-hazard) The case was cracked slightly, so the CD/DVD drive no longer works. It was on it's last legs and we'd discussed getting a new laptop once we get out of our mortgage. It wasn't the loss of the physical laptop that is hard to bear, it's the loss of all the pictures and music and writing on the thing. And, of course, it hadn't been backed up for 6 months. Every couple of hours, it hits me again that I've lost captured memories.

Gone are the last pictures we ever took of Weasel, the day before she died. I managed to video her with my phone (we didn't have a video camera) 3 days before she passed. I had transferred all that info to the laptop when we changed phones and carriers over the holidays. Those videos are gone. So many pictures were in iPhoto, deemed unworthy for Flickr, but now completely lost to some punk-ass kids.

All my writing over the last 4 years was on there, luckily, I usually write long-hand before transferring over to the computer, so all that is lost is revisions and a few family stories that I can try to re-create.

The last thing we've lost is the iTunes library, on the laptop AND the iPod. We can rebuild that, but where am I going to find the Paul Moyers v. Ann Martin meltdown byte??

The thing that incensed me the most was seeing Weasels ashes, still in the bag, tossed onto the bed and her little clay footprint thrown down on the floor because they thought something valuable was in her cedar resting box. Douchebags.

Aside from the memories and the things, we've lost a sense of security. It's weird to see your dresser drawers all open and all your underpants pushed to one side. Somebody, other than me & Seen, was in our house, pushing through all our personal stuff, scaring out cats. But we're all safe now. After the fingerprint cop left Sat morning, we set the trauma aside and had a good weekend of tennis and a run in the park.

I refuse to let a couple of idiot kids have power over me (other than just irritating me because I have to listen to crappy sound system music at the gym now.) Bite my hiney burglars. You suck.

UPDATE!!! Just got off the phone with insurance company. Our losses total $2200 and we have a $2,500 deductible, which was chosen by our escrow company. So the theives f'd us in the A. We have to get out of this house...

Redundancy

2009-02-09T21:22:00.000-08:00

Nowadays, life seems like an endless treadmill. I keep running but I'm not actually getting anywhere. So imagine my joy when I actually had a destination the last time I ran! Check out me letting the Sunshine in on my FierceAndNerdy blog this week. It's all about the Firecracker 5k.

Thanks to Elissa M. and her advice to run intervals, ie. run 3 minutes, walk 1, repeat (lather, rinse, etc...) my time was greatly improved. So after 4-5 weeks of hating running every day in the gym, after having a long discussion about not running anymore but cross training, hiking and playing tennis, after the super adrenaline rush of finishing a leetle race, Seen turned to me on the ride home and said "I think I am addicted to running 5k's".

This might be the start of something fun.

You Should Be Running

2009-02-01T16:18:00.000-08:00

That title is not instructions for you, it's my favorite line from Hellboy, that I repeat, a lot

I'm sitting here in front of the nations football game, which is just super (Jennifer Hudson owns the National Anthem) and thought I'd update y'all on the progress of:

a. My TV rationing

2. My fatness

As for the TV rationing, it's going fairly well (aside from today - stupid football...) Seen had Rachel on when I got home Monday, but I worked on checking blogs, writing, brushing cats and other things. Tuesday, I was out at a networking event but still watched Fringe when I got home late. Weds, we played Wii for about an hour. Okay, that's kind of wasting time in front of the TV, but me and the hubby are interacting and moving around instead of couch potatoeing. Thursday I hit the hay at 8:30, read for like 10 minutes and passed out, jury duty is exhausting. Friday was Tivo of The Soup, Burn Notice (which is a modern day, one man A-team + Bruce Campbell) and then more Wii. On Saturday, exhausted from 90 min of tennis in the sun, we watched a movie and then surfed the channels for about 20 minutes before I was just bored with TV altogether. So, after my history of 3 hours of mind-numbing every night for 30+ years, this week I was ok at rationing the media input (about 5 hours for the week), therefore not a complete loser, just a mild one.

On the health front:
Me and Seen are in training for the Firecracker 5k, which is next Sunday. Yup, we are so outta shape that we are training for a 5k (that's 3.1 miles for those of you who, like me, don't convert the metrics so well.) I have been running at the gym 2-3x's a week since Jan 1 and upped it to 4x's this week. Even though I was on boring ole jury duty this week, I've managed to lose 2.5 lbs and am up to 2.77 miles in 1/2 hour. Today we ran around the park on the 5k route and managed a 35 min time. I find running kind of boring and my knees hurt a little. Did I mention the run is next week and it's uphill for the first mile? I'm a little anxious... After this 5k, I think we're going to cross train during the week and then on the weekends focus on hiking TO THE EXTREME!!!

I'm also eating healthier. Even enjoyed some brussel sprouts from the broiler the other night. We are going back to our cheat day one day a week plan. It's logic we learned back when we originally got health on Body For Life. Basically, you take all your cravings through out the week and shove all the indulgence into one day. If you eat healthy the rest of the week, it really doesn't mess with your system too much (other than the tummy ache). I think the promise of cheat day kept me from going on the ice cream run at work on the stressful Friday. We had Hots chicken nachos, beers and a 2/3 of a lemon bar from corner bakery. My body is so used to correct portions now, Seen and I could only finish 1/2 the nachos and I couldn't finish my lemon bar. Plus, apparently nachos are a kind of sleeping pill, cause we were knocked OUT!

So it was a week of 3 minor victories. I'm looking forward to focusing my free-will and discipline on TV, running and eating right next week!

Happy Super Day!

Superfreak

2009-01-27T08:34:00.000-08:00

I gotta get outta here and do my civic duty (I was selected to be on a jury, try to disguise your envy.)

First though, today is the sharing between the Munchys. I've mentioned our Munchela before, but there is another Munchy in the world, same age, 17 yrs old and similar markings. The differences are; the other Munchy is a boy and has fluffy long fur. Oh and the boy Munchy doesn't live with an evil calico who has a tendency towards kitty leap-frog.

So, by request, here are some pix of our old lady Munch. She is a weirdo who yells alot, even when she's happy, so we have a LOT of pictures of her mouth open and eyes all squinty. She's been with us a long time and experienced many of life's changes. She's always been awesome. Always.

Chained Up Fool

2009-01-26T19:13:00.000-08:00

Hi Guys...

You know I'm a lard-ass right... (I told you yesterday.) Now, I gotta admit that I'm addicted to TV. Check out the plea on my Fierce And Nerdy blog for you to help a sista out RIGHT NOW!! Put down that remote and give me addiction kicking suggestions.

I'm thinking, and have found many articles on the internets to support this, that my TV addiction could be contributing to my fat ass. (that's right, I said ass twice in one blog. If you wanna hurt me, take away my TV) As I was researching the addiction, I found a bunch of sites that delve into the scientific aspects of TV addition. Dudes, it's a real thing! Holy crapstada! I have all the "symptoms" So embarassing!

Scroll down on this page to check out this Kaufman Spectrum of Television Addiction chart

Here's more facts and things.

I may actually have to follow through on this kicking the habit thing. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Not the PHaT kind

2009-01-25T12:27:00.000-08:00

Well hell. I'm fat again.

There was approximately 10 minutes of my life when I thought I was in moderately good shape. I was 5 lbs from reaching my goal weight (that's the weight I listed on my drivers license.) Now I'm 15 lbs away from the goal. Crap.

Okay, I was 25 lbs away from the goal for a time, but seriously, I am not happy. My ass has spread, I feel like my throat is fat. I'm ruining my health again, raising my blood sugar, eating things I have mild allergies to and making myself crankilicious. Urgh.

And who is responsible for this downfall? Who is responsible for making my wardrobe smaller? ME! I'm an idiot. I know how to eat healthy and make the right choices. I know how this crap makes me feel. I know I only have one body and one life to feel 100% me (which, at 100% I am so awesome I almost have to slap myself. ) Right now I'm about 25% me. I'm far from obese, but I'm REALLY unhappy with what I've done to myself. Honestly, I don't have body issues, I just want to eat healthy and feel better. Period.

I'm gonna stop bitching and go for a run, which is hard on my knees cause I'm fat again. Dangnabbit!!!

Get Thee to the FaN

2009-01-12T20:01:00.000-08:00

Yo Peeps!

Oh, that makes me hungry for marshmellow birds covered with yellow sugar.

Back to the point!

Go read my blog at FaN. Please help me get Ms. Inspiration into my pants, er, house. Sorry. See! I have no good ideas when I'm here at my fantastical desk. Just bad jokes.

Forgive me if I offend (but read my FaN blog anyways.)

Cheep, cheep

Update with a slice o' pie

2009-01-11T21:09:00.000-08:00

Just wanted to let ya know that Black Homeless Kitty found a home! The same night I sent my email, a former co-worker of mine wrote that he and his wife and kids needed a cat. The circumstances involved his cat passing away just before Christmas and his surviving cat needed a friend, which is terribly sad anyway you tell it. BUT now the black kitty has a home with good people that I absolutely trust and another kitty to keep her company! (He did change her name from Adora Bowles, which I thought was incredibly clever.) Looks like 2009 is starting out okay...wheee

As for the pie, I just whipped up a Chocolate Cream Pie for work tomorrow. Made the chocolate custard from scratch based on a recipe in Amy Sedaris' hilarious book "I Like You" I'm still getting a handle on crusts, working with store bought right now, but hope to move into handcrafted soon. I'll keep you updated.

Peace OUT

I just became one of "Those People"

2009-01-04T10:07:00.000-08:00

Dear Lord! I just sent out an email to get a stray cat a home. Getting those emails always make me so sad, but I never adopt the poor creature. Trying to find a home for a cat is like trying to sell ice to Eskimos. Man, I hope this works and didn't peeve people too much. Here is the email:

Hiya,

If you are considering adopting an animal, please contact me about this cat. If you aren't a cat person, please forward this to friends of yours who are. This is one of the best cats I've ever met, she shouldn't be a victim of lack of space and bad timing. (I don't want to offend anyone with this email, I just want to find this cat a home and figured I'd contact everyone with a big heart for their help.)

I took a few days off around the New Years. I figured I'd catch up on my correspondence, get a head start on the ole resolutions, but I came home New Years Eve and found a little black cat on my back porch. She had a safety collar and a little shaved belly (obviously a recent spay) She was ridiculously affectionate, so I hung out with her for about an hour. When she was still on our back porch the next morning, we took a picture and put up "Found Cat" posters around the neighborhood and had her scanned for a micro-chip at the local pound. No chip, but 3 days later, one of our neighbors called with her story. She was a part of a feral colony that they feed. They had her fixed to avoid more kittens and let her in the house for "a few days" but put her out again. She still had a stitch left in her tummy. The guy said "We have 5, if you want her, keep her."

Though she is the sweetest cat ever, I can't keep her. Which is where you come in! I think she would be a great addition to anybodies home. She is spayed, (we had that last stitch removed) she has her shots (I can get the paperwork from the neighbor). She is extremely affectionate and loves being petted and scratched and rolling around on her back being adorable. She was part of a large colony of feral cats, so, once acclimated to any new roommates, she should be great with other cats. From her behavior here, it seems that all she wants to do is come inside and snuggle. She's been hanging out on the back porch pretty much all day and all night.

She has been on our back porch for 5 days now. I've put up a temporary shelter for her, but I can't bring her inside, though she keeps trying to sneak in. I would love to welcome her in, but Munchy, our 17 yr old cat, has a nervous problem with her bladder and urethra, so anytime she has ever a small amount of stress she gets really sick with a UTI. She only has one kidney, so we try to keep stress to a minimum around her. Also, our finances can't support another animal and our housing situation isn't entirely certain. If we have to look for an apartment, having 4 cats would certainly make it more difficult.

I would love to get her in a home quickly (of if you are a rescue person, let me know if you have a foster situation available). We have set up a little shelter to keep her warm at night, but it's not heated and the weather could turn colder. She is also a black cat, outside, next to a busy street.

Sorry to be the first "Give this cat a home" email of the year, but lets find this girl a place of her own! Thanks for your time, I hope all is well in your world.

A

Check out my cookies

2008-12-24T14:51:00.000-08:00

Here is a big surprise, Sugar is a big part of my holidays!

My family communicates with cakes and cookies. Check out my blog on our Christmas Cookie tradition, culled from the pages of a 1960's magazine called "Farm Wife".

I hope everybody has a happy, sugar-filled holiday.

RIP Pushing Daisies

2008-12-19T14:09:00.000-08:00

The best show in the past two years just got canned, quietly and quickly. Pushing Daisies is now off the air. At least I'm assuming that I have just watched the last episode. The show has definitely been cancelled and there was no "Next time on Pushing Daisies" bumper at the end of this weeks show like there usually is. It's a harshing my Christmas buzz.

I was addicted to the show quickly after it debuted. The language was both clever and honest. It was modern and timeless and kinda like the Princess Bride meets the Thin Man. The writers were surely big fans of old Detective movies and radio shows. It is one show I always looked forward to watching. Our office organized a TV Thursday to watch Pushing Daisies eps and we'd swap off making pies to eat with our TV lunch. There is a buzz that the producers will wrap up the loose ends on PD with a comic book? Do they know their demographic? Maybe if they did, the show would have survived.

ABC also recently cancelled Boston Legal. Judging from the tenor of the last few episodes, Boston Legal did not go gently into that good night. BL was topical, funny and touching. It also had William Shatner, which was a cherry on the top-notch writing cupcake. While BL had it's share of naughty bits, it didn't focus on sex like a lot of other "lawyer"-y type shows and hospital dramas. It focused on story and character. Kinda like Pushing Daisies did. I'm going to miss that kind of intelligent writing.

I'm not one to campaign for TV shows (there are too many real problems in our crazy, mixed up world to take up my time.) I have the attitude of enjoy it while it's here and let it go when it gets axed. Plus, losing the good shows on TV is actually great for helping kick my addiction to TV. I would not have commented on either show, except that ABC decided to pour lemon juice into my wounds by showing a trailer for a new show, the same trailer followed the Series finales of Boston Legal and the Pushing Daisies ender.

The trailer was for a wretched, new reality steaming load about an "Inner Beauty" contest. To quote Emerson Cod, "A stupid idea just found a new friend." (For the record, I hate reality TV. The only reality show I've ever watched was "The Swan" which was wicked brilliant. Bunim-Murray's offices are directly across the street from our gym and I give it the bird every morning. They are responsible for starting reality TV, with The Real World, nearly 20 years ago. Ass Hats.)

So farewell PD and BL. You are in the excellent company of Arrested Development, Freaks & Geeks and a handful of other shows that were too good to get ad buys. It's true what they say, Only the good die young. (see Two & a Half Men, that mess will not die.)

First 5 Commentors get a beer on me

2008-12-15T16:05:00.000-08:00

Hey Friend,

Check out my charity case on FierceAndNerdy.com. It you are burned out on buying and/or getting presents that end up in the back of your closet, check out my latest blogumn. It'll blow your mind, help heal the world and keep landfills from overflowing.

Plus, Also too, there is a nifty picture of me with my mouth so wide open, you can see my tonsils (If you view it today - 12/15/08)

Feel free to share your favorite charity on FaN and help them get some monies for the holidays!

The Good part of shopping

2008-12-14T13:19:00.000-08:00

I've spent the last 2 Saturdays shopping for Christmas. After 2 Christmases of being able to shop on Weekdays, I had forgotten how sucky it is to be trapped in a Mall with consumers and cranky clerks. But the prices were right!

Here were the good things that happened while we were shopping:

1. The book "Breaking Bad News with Baby Animals" It is pricelessly precious and awful and funny. HIGHLY recommend as your Yankee Swap gift.

2. Helping an Old Lady. The place - Ghetto Target. The time - 9:13 a.m. on a Saturday. The subject - Carla the old lady who fell, face first onto the hard tile ground after her walker ran out too far in front of her. Seen and I helped her onto the walker seat and Seen went to get a wheelchair/helper while I sat and talked to Carla. No, she wasn't hurt in the fall. She has a cat named Grandma, an 8 month old mutt from the pound that her son brought her. Yes, she had a ride home as she lives in a nursing home and a bus dropped off a bunch of old shoppers and would be picking them up in a little while. We got Carla to the check-out ok. She was sitting in the lunch area with her cat food and wire hangers when we walked out later.

3. NPH sighting. To end our day of shopping, we went to JoAnne's on Riverside in the Valley to buy flannel and fleece. Mom is making us PJ Pants! While I was waiting in line, a blonde, skinny guy walked by me and I thought "was that NPH? naaahhh..." It was 7:00 p.m. on a Saturday. We're at a fabric store in the valley. naaahh. Then, as we walked our cozy fabric purchase to the car, Seen said "Did you see Neil Patrick Harris? He was right behind you." Whoa. Weird. Random. So Los Angeles.

Merry Christmas!

Surf Diva

2008-12-05T13:53:00.001-08:00

I'm home sick, in bed, today and surrounded by kittens.

It's nothing too dramatic, just a cold. I am trying to not check emails or harass the people I work with too much. To stave off the boredom, I figured I'd go through all the Internet pages I'd bookmarked over the last 10 years or so and this fella to the left popped up. How could I not share this with you?

You are welcome.

Amy's Awesome Gym

2008-12-01T19:03:00.000-08:00

I have two tickets to the gun show. Buy one, get one.

Actually, I'm feeling a little flabby after eating so much sugar, wheat and fat over Thanksgiving, so I chose to blog about my gym going habits (or aspirations)

Check out my latest Blogumn about Amy's Awesome Gym on FierceAndNerdy.com

If you leave a comment, I'll buy you a beer. (a very healthy beer)

(I can't believe I posted a picture of Hitler)

What's New Pussycat?

2008-11-17T19:48:00.000-08:00

Well, not much really.

Just my BLOGUMN up on Fierce and Nerdy.com, that's all!

Yeah, I'm fabulous, but I'll still hang out with you and eat your left-over Halloween candy.

Visit my blog and leave a comment on why you think we heart our pets so much. And enjoy the picture of Ling Ling (aka Stinky Junior) as she graces my commentary.

Just to tug at your heart strings, here's the mythology of the origins of Stinkerbell:

I was absolutely resolved that we could not, WOULD NOT, have a 4th cat in our house, until…Until Ling Ling got chucked into our backyard one rainy November morning. The neighbors wrapped her in a t-shirt, opened our gate and tossed her on our back step, which is concrete by the way. She was 2 months and 2 pound, most of which was giant ears, HUGE kitten eyes right out of a black velvet painting and a knob at the end of her tail where it broke at a 90degree angle. I spent about 8 hours, that day, talking to people and trying to find her a “good home”. Seen was working at home that day and decided we would give her a "good home". She’s now 3 and weighs 14 pounds and I could not image life without her. (I’m not just saying that because she’s lying across my hand right now, making it hard for me to type.)

If you have room in your home, adopt a shelter cat (or doggy if you like) Cats greatly outnumber dogs in shelters. The Humane Society has declared a Cat Crisis due to the disparity. If you have room, open your heart to one great experience.

I am always right

2008-11-17T19:44:00.000-08:00

Look, I admit that on occasion I get irritable with phone customer service people. It doesn't happen too often. I normally try to understand that they are doing a job and most days I do my best to brighten their day and make them laugh. There are times, tho, when the agent is a douche. Douches work in a lot of professions, some even work in my office! (You know who you are, and where did you find out about my blog??)

My nephew opened my eyes to this blog written by customer service people:

http://notalwaysright.com/

Hopefully I'm never as annoying, stupid, pushy, irritable or plain rude as the people who make this site. God FORBID I ever read about myself there.

Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog - Call Me Jeremiah

2008-11-11T19:40:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure of what I just got myself into here. Ever the joiner, when Thommy, of my offices "party planning committee", said he and the other Aimee were going to be caroling for our Xmas event, I chirped "I'll carol with you!!" I love Christmas songs, they're timeless, universal, cheesy. Aimee and Thommy are singers who have used their voices to sing, like for people, recently. I believe Aimee has auditioned for singing parts and is on albums and stuff.

Thommy wrote me note later, asking what part I sang. Years ago, we're talking decades, I was an alto. When I first moved to Chicago, I would sing in open mikes and jams around town, desperately trying to channel Sarah Vaughn. I was invited back to sing at a few bars, (can't remember the name of the places, like the Green Door or the Red Mill. Like I says, decades ago...) My voice was in pretty good shape, so I didn't butcher the standards too much. I also managed to catch a band and a husband while singing.

So Thommy asked if I'd do a solo. Joiner me responds, "What the Hell. Sure."

I'm sooo in over my head.

I played the CD of carols we'll be singing in the car on the commute home tonight. I sang along with the 2 songs I thought I might pull off. Lordy, lordy, my voice is now reminiscent of a goose with a head-cold. Vocally, I am out of shape and I won't even embarrass myself relating my struggle to find the correct key to sing in.

The carollers will be rehearsing several times before the Christmas event. What're the odds my voice can be toned and fit within a month?

This could be an epic fail. I just hope it isn't sad, but hilarious.

Just Fine

2008-11-06T20:05:00.000-08:00

Hey kids,

It's been awhile. I'm so sorry I've been neglecting you and I don't even have the excuse of children distracting me. That's what I kinda wrote about on this installment of my blogumn on FierceAndNerdy.com. Read it, comment, love me.

In other news, I'm a big fan of this guys comic strip - We The Robots - also, I'm tired.

Your Lady Blog

Little Stinky Junior Loves Fierce and Nerdy

No Happy Ending

2008-10-29T13:36:00.000-07:00

Remember when I said that if you get a bad massage it's your own fault? I told you that you need to talk to your therapist and tell them "firmer" or "lighter", whichever you need. I just couldn't fathom getting a bad massage.

I just got a bad massage.

As a former therapist I know a few rules, always move toward the heart, never pinch, cut your nails, don't move the muscle toward the bone. At the spa chain I just visited, I was assigned a 5Ft Nuthin therapist. Massage taught me that tiny ladies usually like deeper massage and big folks like more gentle relaxation.

I asked for a simple swedish, which should just consist of something called effleurage (basically the long stroke rubbing, not going deep into the muscle). We discussed what I wanted, how deep I wanted it, where, etc...

This therapist moved around my body in an odd way, didn't do any effleurage. None. Zero. She was all about DEEP and not any type of deep tissue method I'd learned. She utilized a technique that seemed more "Poke, pinch and jiggle" I know how to say "lighter, or heavier" but I don't know how to say "WTF are you doing??" or "Dude, a toddler gives a better massage". So I suffered through it. As she was working on pinching my calves, yes pinching (and she her nails were digging into me a little, and I'm checking for bruises now) I was reminded of last June, when I spent 4 hours in a dental chair with a non-novacained nerve that later turned into a root-canal. If a massage reminds you of that kind of dentist pain, it's clearly a bad massage.

After the therapist poked and prodded at my neck at the end of the torture, she then tried to sell me on scheduling more or maybe getting the annual membership. Even if she'd been a good rub-er, at the end of the massage you should gently say "We're done, take your time, I'll be in the lobby with water..."

I have probably given some bad massages in my day, but I whole-heartedly believe none of them were this awful. I never pinched and always effleuraged (I made a word:) ) I once knew a therapist who's technique and demeanor was so perfect for me! Sadly, she left the state. The therapist that got away. Now I need to find someone who won't make me worse when all I want is to relax.

I'm busy being delicious

2008-10-27T14:31:00.000-07:00

If you've spent any time with me what-so-ever, you are aware that I am both attracted to and repelled by sugar. My mother was an amazing baker of cookies, pies, cakes and all things that mix flour, sugar and fat. (She also has a huge garden with lots of fresh produce, but I like sugar better.) So baked goods represent family and love and comfort. BUTT sugar also makes me cranky, zitty and tubby.

Now on Fierce and Nerdy - Read all about the Sugar Clique at my office and my struggle for power of the monkey on my back that is made entirely of marzipan.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm busy being delicious

Book' em Danno

2008-10-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

Hey babies,

Oooooh yeah, I watched some WKRP in Cincinnati weekend. I do miss Venus Fly-Trap and Andy's male camel toe. But that's not all the news that's fit to print.

I've got another article up on FierceAndNerdy.com today (my Blogumn - Tall Drink of Nerd). It's kind of about trying to buy a book at the airport. I know you've been there, maybe in Cincinnati!

Smootches

Sunday

2008-10-12T16:05:00.001-07:00

I'm pretty sure I'm not going to get anything done this afternoon. I am supposed to be writing something for FierceAndNerdy.com, but I'm feeling hella lazy and procrastinating.

I'm sleepy because I woke up at 7:00ish this morning smelling smoke and wondering if the house was on fire. Sean and I wandered around inside and outside our house, in our robes, looking for flame or any other indication of fire until I thought of maybe turning on the TV to see if any hillsides were smokin'. Sure enough, Tujunga was on fire. The winds were strong and blowing the smoke and ash east towards us in a very powerful way.

We were up for good and very shortly full of delicious Sean-made french toasts. Time had come to plant veggies. Now the earth that we(I) have to plant in is hard, clay, difficult to hoe and/or dig in. So I wasted water to muddy the strip of land to diggable standards and now have planted 2 tomato plants (Roma and Beefsteak), one strawberry plant, 6 celery, 6 onion and one rosemary bushshrub. Also trying my hand at basil in a container again, but don't have high hopes as I've already murdered about 1/2 dozen of those over the past 5 years.

I'm also sleepy because it's moderately chilly outside and it's very quiet inside. Only the occasional noise of crystal windchimes on the patio or a plane flying very high above breaks the silence. The cats are scattered around the guest room in various states of repose. Munchy is snoring on her pillow in the sunshine, KoE and Lingers are vying for a spot on the afghan that covers the lower half of the bed. After a hella stressful week, I do believe I'll procrastinate my blogumn for a few more hours, grab the fantastic book I'm reading and tuck myself between kitties for a well deserved break from work-type-stuffs.

Three Legged Kitties and Tall Drink O' Nerd

2008-09-29T14:17:00.001-07:00

Tall Drink O' Nerd, that's me.

Ernessa has graced me with another blog opportunity. No poop this time, but lots of scoop on how awesome the Public Library is!

Check me out at Fierceandnerdy.com

I was so bummed that I was too sick yesterday to go to the West Hollywood book fair. I caught a stupid cold on Thursday which turned epic in proportion by the weekend, forcing me to do basically nothing but suffer and heal.

The only thing I did aside from blowing my nose constantly and talking like a man while surrounded by used tissues and watching really bad movies on cable was visit the kitty rescue on Saturday to see Annabelle.

Annie is now a three legged kitty with a little nub for her left front leg. She's about 3 times the size she was when I found her, but she's glossy and happy and healthy and so friggin adorable. I got to hold her for about 4 minutes at the PetCo where the rescue was showing kitties for adoption. No crying this time! Seen said he was worried for a minute that I wouldn't let her go (I almost didn't). She's available for adoption, but our Munchy (16 years old with IBD) gets really sick with any change or stress so we can't, just can't bring any new critters into the house. She's so cute, she was probably adopted Saturday. I'm just thrilled she has a great foster mom and is acting like a regular cat.

A happy ending for the kitty!

And in Other News...The Pope is Catholic

2008-09-24T07:14:00.001-07:00

I heard, on AM radio and then the morning news that Clay Aiken has announced that he is gay. That's totally, "whatever" news, and I'm not one to ever, ever judge how a person lives their life. But it just made me chuckle that it was deemed news yesterday. Maybe the media decided we needed a little break from the scary, run-screaming, pull your hair out, Blank-Check Paulson news that's been overtaking us lately.

Thanks media, consider that goal accomplished!

ETC is Fierce and Nerdy

2008-09-23T15:51:00.001-07:00

Aloha fair travelers on the series of tubes that form the Internets.

A wonderful chick I know named Ernessa has started a very cool website called "Fierce and Nerdy" and she has asked me to contribute. I was absolutely flattered and happy to.

My first post landed today and it's about Cat Poo. So if you like me or Cat Poo, or just an awesome fun blog-site, check out Fierceandnerdy.com

Kisses**

Touch my Monkeys

2008-09-21T16:47:00.001-07:00

Hey folks!

Awhile a go, let's say about a year or so, I wrote a silly poem about monkeys that I then had my sister Janet illustrate. She did a lot of work, research and edits on the illustrations, I did a few re-writes and dealt with the frustration of an online publisher and with a few bad printings. We initially gave the printed version of the books to my great nieces and nephews as Christmas presents last year. Seen thinks the book is so awesome that we should share it's brilliance with the world at large. He's my biggest fan :)

So you can buy my Monkeys now! The book is for sale on Lulu.com. 10% of the profits will to go a local animal rescue. The other 90% will go towards beers.

Long Distance Dedication

2008-09-15T16:31:00.000-07:00

This post is for Aimee, who has the same name as me, but she spells hers the fancy way. She told me "I'll delete you from my links if you don't blog within 6 months." I take that challenge very seriously! (not as seriously as the Special K challenge, for which I will choose as my weapon - Pistols at Dawn!!)

So this blog is for Aimee, even though nothin much is goin on and my opinions are being muted by the noise from the campaigns. The campaign about issues and the other campaign about pointless noise. I shall not blog about politics. I shall not blog about politics. I shall not blog about politics**

**My family has utterly different political views than I do. I love my family and political BS is not worth the cost of upsetting or getting upset with family. Plus the Henry's do NOT do conflict well. We're more hide in the hole until the Sabre Tooth passes kind o folks.

So I'll just blog a little for Aimee. Hi Aimee! I like Boston Cream Pie too, but I don't really care for HSM, (maybe I do, I've just never seen it...) Let's go eat some Hot Wings!

For Aimee
From Amy

Helping Annie

2008-08-19T17:39:00.001-07:00

Hey Everybody!

The 6 week old kitten I pulled out of traffic (aka Road Kitty, aka Annie) and gave to a rescue organization is getting an operation!

http://www.active.com/donate/happystrays/Annie

I'm still in touch with the rescue, because I think Annie is an awesome cat and deserves a chance at a normal happy life. Carrie, who is an amazingly sweet person let me know about Annie's condition. Turns out that lame arm of hers was shattered when she was hit by the car. It's useless, in the way and can't be all that great to lug around. The vet has decided to remove the useless leg. Annie is in a very caring foster home and will be okay once the operation is over. Happy Strays is looking to raise enough money to cover the procedure. They are a bonafide Charity, you can donate to them in a million ways, just check their site: HappyStrays.org

BUT - if you would like to help little Road Kitty heal, you can donate directly to her cause on this page:

http://www.active.com/donate/happystrays/Annie

Even though she's living elsewhere, I feel responsible for the life of this little creature and would love it you could donate whatever you can, even a little bit helps. Just think if 25 people donate $20, we're halfway home! If you are out of moolah, pass the word and let your friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. help out on this one too!

As my niece says "Handicapped Kittens are even more adorable..."

Ya gotta, Accentuate thee positive

2008-08-08T17:35:00.000-07:00

Good things are afoot ladies n' gentlemen:

Munchy is done with antibiotics for her UTI. Yay.

We have blocked all holes/entry into our home so the mice shouldn't be able to find their way in (fingers crossed) So we won't have to pay the exterminator $879 just for stinkin mice removal. Yay.

My vertigo is gone. Yay.

My Dad is in better spirits and health (Still has disease, still in midst of chemo, but acting/feeling much better than 2 weeks ago.) Yay!

Kitty I found in the street has a nice Foster Mom who named the kitty Annie. Annie is spunky but may lose her useless front leg. Let's yay the spunky part and the part where if I would have been 2 minutes later, Annie wouldn't have been at all. So Yay.

Seen and I are gainfully employed in a tough economy. Yay.

Seen and I have a home to live in, for now. Yay.

Seen is my husband. Yay to infinity!

I get to teach writing workshops with fun people who I like. Yay.

So let's put the drama behind us, shall we? If just to breathe easy for a minute.

Enchanted

2008-08-06T09:35:00.000-07:00

Eeek a Mouse!!

We have mice. At least I hope it's mice and not rats. I took the trash out of it's spot under the kitchen sink last night and saw little brown sprinkles.

I said "Honey, come look at this..." And Sean said

"We have mice"

Yup, little brown mouse turd sprinkles all over the cupboard under my kitchen sink. EWWWWWWWW. Dude. Ewwwwww. I cleaned it out with bleach, but this morning, little sprinkles down there again.

Greenleaf Organic Pest control is coming out today to see how we can get rid of the jerks. I would LOVE to have them sing and dance with me and make me a dress and serve as coachmen when my Fairy Godmother sets me up for the big Ball, but... I have doubts that I could convince the mice of such fanciful stuff.

WARNING - This Post is a Downer

2008-07-27T12:51:00.001-07:00

2008 shall forever been known as the year that my heart keeps breaking. It seems so very long since I have walked without the weight of grief strapping its arms around my calves and sitting it's cold butt on my feet. I have had moments of laughter and clear appreciation of a cool cinnamon scented breeze, but for the most part, my heart is filled with heavy, slippery, poisonous mercury.

My grief started with the sickness of Weasel. She threw-up, constantly. A small grey cat, she never weighed more than 6.5 lbs, but her weight went down to 4 lbs and we knew she was very sick. She stopped eating on a Tuesday in May, a visit to the vet and IV fluids didn't help, and by Saturday, she was weak and shaking and throwing up regularly. The at-home vet came on Sunday and helped us to decide that it was time for our amazing friend of 16 years to rest. Her whole life she wanted attention, always greeting us at the door demanding to be picked up. Always tapping me on the shoulder when my alarm failed to go off, waking me in time for work. She was the cat who paced impatiently, waiting for me to sit and watch a movie so she could curl up on my lap. We still miss her tremendously.

Then in June, my Dad got sick. He got really sick, like take-care-of-your-affairs-sick. He has a rare blood disease called MDS (mydadhasMDS.blogspot.com) He just finished his second round of chemo and is still in the hospital 2 weeks later. All I want to do is be with him and Mom, but they live in CO and I live in CA, so I sit and worry from afar and hold any positive thoughts in my head and heart, which is still broken.

And just as we started to heal from losing Weasel, I found a kitten. It was a hurt grey kitten, just sitting in a very busy traffic lane where I stopped my car (and traffic), chased her as she tried to run with only 3 functioning legs, freed her from the web of branches on the median and drove her to the closest vet I could think of. "Do you accept financial responsibility" they said. What option did I have? To save this tiny creature from getting run over only to have a vet put her under? Of course I accepted financial responsibility (in a time when I have been berating my spouse about not spending any extra money because we have a balloon payment coming.) Of course I agreed to foster her until we find a home. Turned out she had a cracked jaw and a leg that didn't work, maybe temporarily, maybe permanently. She came home with me the day after. She was so tired and hungry, she ate almost a whole can of food and passed out, but within 2 hours she woke up, yelling at me, running around the spare room that we had removed all dangerous furniture from and finally snuggling up next to me with a throaty purr whenever I touched her still dirty fur to move her useless leg into a better position.

I washed her with a warm cloth, and held her tiny body in a towel as she dried. But I could not take care of her. Her bad leg dragged behind her, she didn't seem to know it was there, couldn't control it at all from the shoulder down. Then she pooped. All down her hurt leg, all over her back leg, granted she used the litter box, but she was a mess, top to bottom. I realized I was in no position to care for her. We couldn't leave her alone all day when we were at work. If I needed to go to CO to see my Dad, what would become of this injured kitten in a house with three other larger, crankier cats. We had to give her to someone who could help her more than we could. It broke my heart again, opened up the wound of losing Weasel,made me feel inadequate and selfish. We gave her to HappyStrays.org. They were very sweet and understanding (I spoke to a woman at Heaven on Earth cat rescue who made me feel guilty for trying to find her a better foster. That woman was a jerk.) Happy Strays is run by a friend of a co-worker and they couldn't have been nicer. They took Grey Kitty's medicine, paperwork, history and hugged me as I blubbered through the way I found her and why we couldn't keep her.

So my heart is broken again, for the poor handicapped kitten, for my sick Father and my Mother who has to care for him so patiently, still for my lost Weasel.

2008, the year my heart keeps breaking.

Monsters Are Waiting

2008-07-16T21:06:00.000-07:00

There is a monster in my office. I can’t see him, but I feel him there. When I sit down, he pokes his cold purple talons into my brain and whispers horrible, monster things to me.

“You’re stupid.” He says.

“That story doesn't make any sense.” He sighs, curling his invisible lizard body in my lap and wrapping his slimy tail of doubt around me.

I’m lucky he let me come in this room at all today. He is possessive of his futon. Most days he keeps his force-field up. It is a heavy shield that snakes all through the house. It is filled with undone laundry and dirty dishes, with unchecked e-mails and phones calls that need to be placed. The strong center of this shield has a crest that reads “There must be something good to watch on TV.”

Though he’s not terrifying, because we’ve played together since we were young, I try to keep my distance. And there are days, when he runs out to get a quick cup of coffee, or his focus is shifted to encourage cat-on-cat violence, when I can sneak into my office and sit on my futon. I can work, if only for 10-15 minutes, until he finds me and tugs on my sweater or pinches my neck. Telling me to get out of this room and turn the sprinklers on.

Obituary

2008-07-12T17:45:00.000-07:00

While looking through piles of family history stuff, researching for my grand plan to write about my Grand Ma, I found this obituary about some relative of mine who passed away in 1922. The lead-in is so awesome, I just had to share it:

"Christy Anna (Henry) Ralston:
Although for some time in feeble health, caused by her 71 years, she was not severely stricken with sickness until 8 days before her death. For the most of three days, as though weary from life's years and cares, she found rest in sleep. She slept peacefully and profoundly until, at length, she sank into the sleep that knows no awakening to this world's scenes and associations."

That is some fantastical flowery language. I absolutely LOVE it!

Gloriously Lazy

2008-07-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

It's a glorious evening. The valley heat has calmed from 102 degrees down to a lovely 76. I'm a little tired, from working all day, from the residual vertigo that still makes the world spin and my ears achey, from being a lazy bum most of the weekend, but it's a glorious evening. Munchy has found the chair that I planted in front of my office window just for her during the office make-over this weekend. Occasionally a subtle breeze catches the wind-chimes on the other side of the porch and makes them twinkle before the night sidles through the window and strokes Munchy's ancient head. She raises her nose to catch a sniff of the outside, of the dirty Valley smog and the green and dusty air of newly cut grass that was burnt in the summer sun.

I've got work to do gentle blog reader, I have bio's to write, poems to find, dishes to wash. Also, I should be in bed by 9:30 to give myself time to wake up at 5ish and get my lazy, spreading ass into the gym. But I just want to sit and watch Munchy enjoying the breeze and my company. I want to flop into the hammock on the porch with Sean on one side, a beer in my hand and swap work stories. I want to meditate in the circular hum of crickets and loud Spanish shouting neighbors. Yup, I just want to be as ridiculously lazy as I have been for the past 3 days, a holiday weekend.

Ok, enough wishin'. Back to work.

People. People who like People.

2007-11-14T13:33:00.000-08:00

I like people! Here is something I've been learning after interviewing around, lookin for a day job, I really like talking to people. I like getting to know people...for the most part. Last night I went to a Personal Essay reading thingie, and would ya believe, I liked nearly all of those people. Except my arch-nemisis. I hate that guy.

I think the only people I don't like (aside from Arch Nemi) are the jerks who don't know how to drive in L.A. traffic, which really is a lot of people. But, hey, they might be nice when out of their cars and in person.

Oh yeah, and zombies, but are they in the people classification?

Scary Men

2007-07-03T13:58:00.001-07:00

It's kinda funny to me that MSNBC, last night, went from covering Bush commuting Scooter Libby's sentence for obstruction of justice to the Dateline Predator series. I began to wonder, which is scarier - our President clearly showing us that he is "the Decider" and he, and his staff (cronies) live by different rules than me and you - OR a schoolteacher that e-mails pictures of his junk and shows up for a date with a 13yr old (boy or girl, still creepy).

I think ole Bush, aka President Jr., is scarier. We live in a time where anything goes and we are ruled by people who say "F-you" quite literally, to the rules of our Constitution and even the most basic and intrinsic laws of this land. Can we please send Chris Hansen into the Oval office with incriminating e-mails and a copy of that Constitution maybe a copy of Congressional Subpoenas? That'd bring in the ratings.

There are a lot of me.

2007-06-12T13:58:00.000-07:00

I recently looked up some old friends on the Google. Ya know how sometimes you wanna talk to people you used to be friends with but drifted apart from for some reason? Those are the folks I've been looking for. It's really only like 3 people, my friend pool is the kind that you blow up in the summer and it leaves a round patch of dead grass in the middle of your lawn when you're done with it.

So I figured, maybe somebody is Googling me (though you think I'd notice something like being Googled). I thought I'd see what might happen if somebody Googled my maiden name. I am unfound :( There is a famous Apprentice loser who shares my maiden name. She takes up the first 10 pages of Google, mostly in English, but then it shows you her websites in Spanish, German, French and something I believe is Korean.

I thought I'd Google my married name, see if I fare any better on the Google-ometer that way. Nope. Lot's of me-s in that category too. I am not the one who is the rocket scientist. So I am un-Googlable. Lost in a crowd of the ordinary. There are way too many me-s.

Zombies on Dream TV

2007-03-27T18:40:00.000-07:00

The only thing that stops zombies from attacking is to turn off the TV. Why won't my husband turn off the zombie movie? I guess he's got a hankerin for more brains.

Stinky Senior

2006-12-28T16:50:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I really like my 4 cats. I had a huge mental block regarding writing about them, cause poetry about cats seems one step away from wearing clothes featuring cats or starting a cat figurine collection. That's somewhere I don't intend to go. I did NOT intend to write the following poem, circumstances were beyond my control:

Old Lady Munchy

Munch has farted
Just a little
“pfft” noise as she
stood up from the futon
we share.

She runs her head
into me
wanting my love
as her stink,
a mix of rotten bacon and athlete’s foot,
envelopes the room

This morning I found
another spot of vomit
little chunks of
Science Diet, Sensitive Stomach brand
cat food, floating
like little islands,
in a pond of green bile.

I clean up her mess
and she comes over
to apologize
I pet her crown
trying to take her
pain into me.

I wish for a cure
some pussycat pepto
to make her feel
better
an elixir
to make her
young again.

My Munchy, who
meows like an enraged Bette Davis.

Who always sounds
like she is yelling for
more scotch and
a fresh pack of camel lights

Munchy, who sat
quiet, under my feet
in the cab of my GMC Sonoma
on our cold, November
journey from Chicago
to Hollywood, while
her sister rang choruses of
“Let Me OWT!!” to the plains,
mountains, deserts and ocean.

My Munchy who has
warmed chairs for me,
tripped me on
my midnight trips to
the toilet &
has
listened to me cry
curling up on my belly to
soothe me, leaving
half her soft coat to remind
me to be ok.

The ER Vet told us,
last March 23rd at 1:30 a.m.,
nothing was specifically wrong
“cats this age just
tend to have problems”
sometimes fatal
in Munchy’s case
“sometimes just painful”
Then the vet relieved us of $500.

My Old Lady Munchy is now -
IBS, special food and funny noises
followed by
not so funny smells.

My Munchy
is only gonna get
more expensive
from now on.

But I’ll be as
patient with her,
as she has been with me.

Dreamin

2006-12-20T10:57:00.000-08:00

I had a dream last night that I was in my Grandma Henry's house. It was present day and my niece, Jennifer, had moved into the property and turned it into an amazing house. It was painted a beautiful light blue and, she explained to me as she stood curling her hair in the modern bathroom, she had incorporated a lot of the stuff Grandma had left behind into her modern designs.

My sister, Janet, found a collection of 3" Virgin Mary red resin statues, that my niece was using as decoration, at each place setting on the dining room table. Janet said "Don't you remember that Grandma used to make us hold these statues between our knees and say 3 Hail Mary's before we could eat dinner? It was to keep us from having pre-marital sex"

"Oh yeah." I said, "I had forgotten how Irish and religious she was."

Then I woke up and slowly came back to present day. In the fugue between dream and reality, I thought, 'I need to write about how Irish and Catholic Grandma was' but the clearer my mind became, the more I realized, my Grandma Henry was neither Irish nor Catholic. She died 29 years ago, at the too young age of 58, when I was just 8 years old. The house she lived in was tiny, maybe 700 sq ft and has long since been the property of some other family.

I am trying to analyze this dream. It is the first time I've travelled to Grandma Henry's house in my dreams. I have a recurring dream about being in my Grandma Berg's house right after she died, but curiously enough, I've never gone to the Henry abode until last night. I've come up with the following theory: I'm writing about my Dad and his life, but I've only been able to write some fiction(ish) stories about his mother. I am finding ways around that block, but in the meantime felt I should at least write in the ballpark of his life. In my mind, I believe I might be taking liberties with his Mother's life and exaggerating the story a little. My mind decided to deal with it by taking the fiction farther than I could or would.

It was a fun dream, I got to see my niece and my sister, who I won't get the opportunity to see this Christmas. It also got me thinking about my Grandma, who should be thought of, remembered and even glamorized a little, under the right circumstance. :)

Secret Santa

2006-12-14T19:43:00.000-08:00

I'm starting an E-Commerce business in my home. It's fun and exciting and I'm learning lots about business and drop shipping and oh, just all kinds of online stuff. It's my business and I basically work by myself all day. It's cool, I've got IM and my cell to keep me connected to the outside world.

Today, I realized that this is the first year I don't have to buy any presents for my co-workers. So, I decided that perhaps I should organize a Secret Santa gift exchange with the 4 beings who share my office space. I've put our names in a shoe and luckily I've chosen KoE. I know exactly what she needs: another mousey toy.

I'm fairly sure Munchy got my name, I didn't look at the paper she ate after she swatted it out of the shoe with her paw, but she's been hanging pretty close to me, watching everything I do. I think she's trying to get a sense of what I might want. I'm hoping for an Om necklace, but I'm pretty sure I'll probably get some shedded fur left on my chair, (if I'm lucky.) I just hope she doesn't get me the same thing she's been giving me every week for the past couple of years, a puddle of fur-ball cat yack, in the middle of the living room floor. That is soo last year.

I need to get some cheer.

2006-12-13T14:43:00.000-08:00

All I can write about is Christmas right now, and I'm a little blue. As evidenced by the piece I wrote yesterday.

Their small house was filled to the rafters with a cold quiet. All of the children and grandchildren had gone home, too early for her taste. The only left-over sound was the dry rustle of the dying flames, licking the last stick of wood, in the pot-bellied stove. Occasionally, a sonorous, pig-snort from her old, fat husband would punctuate the silence. He lie, passed out, in his forest green velour upholstered recliner, near the fire.

Even though she stood in the kitchen door, 10 feet from where the man slept, the smell of Jameson whiskey traveled on his exhale, warning her not to wake him. His scent overpowered the lingering smell of fresh-baked Christmas cookies and the cedar smoke drifting from the embers.

She tugged her red Christmas vest tight around her breasts and reached up to itch the spot on her neck where the grey, woolen turtleneck had worried a rash on her flesh. The hair she had curled so neatly close to her scalp felt tight, as if she could feel it graying as she stood waiting for her youth to come back.

Slowly she stood, pushing off of the doorframe she’d been leaning against and began to clean up the chaos that only grandchildren on Christmas Eve can create. The scraps of wrapping paper lay crumpled on the floor. Spots of smiling elves and laughing angels, flying against a red backdrop, made a noisy argument as she stuffed them into the thin, white plastic trash bag.

How much do I love Tool?

2006-12-12T15:39:00.000-08:00

A lot.

Time for Midol

2006-12-08T12:09:00.000-08:00

MAN I am whiney today. I really just feel like swearing. Funny thing is, I feel fake when I write down curse words. They roll around in my head just lovely, but when I write MutherF****r, it just looks stupid and poser-y.
The midol is starting to kick in, so I don't feel so throw-y anymore. I woke up with a headache and tried to be positive. I went to the Post office, to mail an e-bay purchase (shop Crunkly Schmunkly) and the automated machine was broken, so I went to stand in the line of 45 PEOPLE. Remembering there was a post office only 3 miles away, I got outta line and hopped back in the Aztek, which was almost outta gas. So I drove to the gas station and stuck $20 into the gas tank (actually, I put the $20 into the payment machine thingie, which then allowed me to pump $20 into the tank of the car.) As I was pulling the gas nozzle out of my car, some stupid 300 lb woman in a disco hat, pulled around my car to the pump in front of me that had just been vacated by a landscaping truck. DUDE I'm taking the nozzle out so I can leave! and some van driving, soccer mom, pulled behind me, blocking me in. Luckily, the guy at the pump to our right, who was about to block me in good, saw the hideous whale pull her Humscalade into the blocking position, and pulled his truck up a little to let me pass. See, someone knows how to behave! Stupid Disco Lady Jerk.

Finally I could drive to the alternate PO, which I did, hopped outta the car and went inside to stand at the back of a line of 15 people. It was a leetle better. Only, there was just 1 teller, okay, there was 2 tellers, but the "additional" person, who looked and spoke like she was in a Frau Blucher impersonation contest, kept going into the back and leaving this other poor woman working her butt off and getting yelled at by people who had waited in line for 15 minutes. I really hate it when people yell at the person HELPING them. It's like a professor yelling at the students actually in his class about the importance of not being absent. Stupid. I was very polite to her for her help, saying 'please', 'thank you' and 'thanks for that suggestion!'

I'm home now, Weasel has stopped licking the magazines. (I made it clear to her how annoying that is) Ling Ling is not currently tackling anybody and Munchy is snoring in her papa-san.
I miss sugar and I need a hike.
Honey, can you bring home some ice cream?

Christmas Cookies

2006-12-07T11:59:00.000-08:00

I really want to go home for Christmas. I haven't been for several years and I miss the loud, happiness of my family at the Holidays. I'll try to spread the joy here, in my home, just a little, by baking my Mom's famous Christmas cookies. The flavor is filled with memory, just one taste takes me back in time and it inspired this little PE I wrote recently.

Every year, Mom would bend down to reach to the back of the pantry’s bottom shelf. Behind The Joy of Cooking and her worn copy of The Betty Crocker Cookbook was where she kept a Farmers Wife Magazine, December 1963 issue wrapped in a gallon sized zip-lock bag. For it’s entire life, it had been open to page 63, Magical Christmas Cookie Recipe. My sister and I would marvel at the perfect little girl in the pictures, caught forever with her brown hair in pigtails, her mothers oversized red-heart checkered apron wrapped around her.

As the oven started to warm our little kitchen, Mom would let me pull the chilly silver mixing bowls from the cupboards that seemed unprotected from the winter air outside. I was only allowed to measure dry ingredients into my mom’s famous cookies, at least until I could reach the mixing bowl on the table without standing on a chair. My sister, Janet, was a little more graceful so she got to gather all the elements for our annual ritual. I remember Alvin and the Chipmunks singing about Christmas in the background and the sharp smell of processed alcohol and warm spice when we would uncap the vanilla extract bottle. After the butter, sugar, eggs and love had been blended, Dad was in charge of pushing the cookie cutter into the dough rolled out onto the brown formica top of our kitchen table, which had turned white with sifted flour. He always gently guided my sister and I on the placement of our chosen characters. If I wanted to put the star too close to the angel’s wing, there would have been a huge dough leftover, and disaster. I remember the nutmeg taste of that dough as I snuck raw cookie scraps from the table and then the acid taste on my tongue, long into the night, of too much sugar in such a small belly.

I remember Janet was always more artistic with her sugar and chocolate sprinkle placement. She had a careful plan for images she was creating. Her cookies always came out perfect. Like edible little stained glass mirrors. I had a less patient, more Pollock approach of making Santa, covering him in chocolate sprinkles with a green sugar beard. I believed that reindeer should look like a rainbow. Most often, the sugar I piled high on my cookies would turn a deep caramelized brown, burnt and crunchy at the edges. They would live in the bottom of the cookie bucket until well after New Years. My creations would never find their way to any family gatherings. Blackened stars would wait to be dipped in my mother’s morning Sanka, so that the sharp coffee taste would disguise the burnt edges.

Now-a-days, I don't eat sugar and now I'm off of aspartame and all artifical sweetners, cause they all make me CUHrazee.

Welcome to Stinky Junior's Blog

2006-12-06T12:41:00.000-08:00

Hi my loyal reader!

According to a recent survey, which I heard quoted by the fascinatingly vapid Robin Roberts on GMA, the average readership of any given personal blog is 1. That is O.N.E. One. So HELLO loyal reader of one, which is me, or Seen, the husband of a million womens's dreams. Can I be a reader of my blog, since I'm writing it? Because technically, I need to know how to read to write my blog. Hmm, things to ponder for the ages.

Stay tuned, darling, cause I'll be posting all my writing stuff here, to share my brilliance with you. My husband, who reads it straight from my notebooks anyways.

BTW, honey, we need to color my hair. The brown is starting to show at the roots.

As they say at Empress Chinese Pavillion, the Dim Sum Specialists. "Good Night and Good Duck."

A