Monsters Are Waiting

There is a monster in my office. I can’t see him, but I feel him there. When I sit down, he pokes his cold purple talons into my brain and whispers horrible, monster things to me.

“You’re stupid.” He says.

“That story doesn't make any sense.” He sighs, curling his invisible lizard body in my lap and wrapping his slimy tail of doubt around me.

I’m lucky he let me come in this room at all today. He is possessive of his futon. Most days he keeps his force-field up. It is a heavy shield that snakes all through the house. It is filled with undone laundry and dirty dishes, with unchecked e-mails and phones calls that need to be placed. The strong center of this shield has a crest that reads “There must be something good to watch on TV.”

Though he’s not terrifying, because we’ve played together since we were young, I try to keep my distance. And there are days, when he runs out to get a quick cup of coffee, or his focus is shifted to encourage cat-on-cat violence, when I can sneak into my office and sit on my futon. I can work, if only for 10-15 minutes, until he finds me and tugs on my sweater or pinches my neck. Telling me to get out of this room and turn the sprinklers on.

Obituary

While looking through piles of family history stuff, researching for my grand plan to write about my Grand Ma, I found this obituary about some relative of mine who passed away in 1922. The lead-in is so awesome, I just had to share it:

"Christy Anna (Henry) Ralston:
Although for some time in feeble health, caused by her 71 years, she was not severely stricken with sickness until 8 days before her death. For the most of three days, as though weary from life's years and cares, she found rest in sleep. She slept peacefully and profoundly until, at length, she sank into the sleep that knows no awakening to this world's scenes and associations."

That is some fantastical flowery language. I absolutely LOVE it!

Gloriously Lazy

It's a glorious evening. The valley heat has calmed from 102 degrees down to a lovely 76. I'm a little tired, from working all day, from the residual vertigo that still makes the world spin and my ears achey, from being a lazy bum most of the weekend, but it's a glorious evening. Munchy has found the chair that I planted in front of my office window just for her during the office make-over this weekend. Occasionally a subtle breeze catches the wind-chimes on the other side of the porch and makes them twinkle before the night sidles through the window and strokes Munchy's ancient head. She raises her nose to catch a sniff of the outside, of the dirty Valley smog and the green and dusty air of newly cut grass that was burnt in the summer sun.

I've got work to do gentle blog reader, I have bio's to write, poems to find, dishes to wash. Also, I should be in bed by 9:30 to give myself time to wake up at 5ish and get my lazy, spreading ass into the gym. But I just want to sit and watch Munchy enjoying the breeze and my company. I want to flop into the hammock on the porch with Sean on one side, a beer in my hand and swap work stories. I want to meditate in the circular hum of crickets and loud Spanish shouting neighbors. Yup, I just want to be as ridiculously lazy as I have been for the past 3 days, a holiday weekend.

Ok, enough wishin'. Back to work.

People. People who like People.

I like people! Here is something I've been learning after interviewing around, lookin for a day job, I really like talking to people. I like getting to know people...for the most part. Last night I went to a Personal Essay reading thingie, and would ya believe, I liked nearly all of those people. Except my arch-nemisis. I hate that guy.

I think the only people I don't like (aside from Arch Nemi) are the jerks who don't know how to drive in L.A. traffic, which really is a lot of people. But, hey, they might be nice when out of their cars and in person.

Oh yeah, and zombies, but are they in the people classification?

Scary Men

It's kinda funny to me that MSNBC, last night, went from covering Bush commuting Scooter Libby's sentence for obstruction of justice to the Dateline Predator series. I began to wonder, which is scarier - our President clearly showing us that he is "the Decider" and he, and his staff (cronies) live by different rules than me and you - OR a schoolteacher that e-mails pictures of his junk and shows up for a date with a 13yr old (boy or girl, still creepy).

I think ole Bush, aka President Jr., is scarier. We live in a time where anything goes and we are ruled by people who say "F-you" quite literally, to the rules of our Constitution and even the most basic and intrinsic laws of this land. Can we please send Chris Hansen into the Oval office with incriminating e-mails and a copy of that Constitution maybe a copy of Congressional Subpoenas? That'd bring in the ratings.

There are a lot of me.

I recently looked up some old friends on the Google. Ya know how sometimes you wanna talk to people you used to be friends with but drifted apart from for some reason? Those are the folks I've been looking for. It's really only like 3 people, my friend pool is the kind that you blow up in the summer and it leaves a round patch of dead grass in the middle of your lawn when you're done with it.

So I figured, maybe somebody is Googling me (though you think I'd notice something like being Googled). I thought I'd see what might happen if somebody Googled my maiden name. I am unfound :( There is a famous Apprentice loser who shares my maiden name. She takes up the first 10 pages of Google, mostly in English, but then it shows you her websites in Spanish, German, French and something I believe is Korean.

I thought I'd Google my married name, see if I fare any better on the Google-ometer that way. Nope. Lot's of me-s in that category too. I am not the one who is the rocket scientist. So I am un-Googlable. Lost in a crowd of the ordinary. There are way too many me-s.

Zombies on Dream TV

The only thing that stops zombies from attacking is to turn off the TV. Why won't my husband turn off the zombie movie? I guess he's got a hankerin for more brains.