
While cutesy, these things won't help me shred my pecs or shrink my hinder. After 1 minute of yummy noises and 10 minutes of jubilant dancing, a Little Debbie Swiss Roll will create the sugar crash beast within me to eat the adorableness out of the world.

Why can't I just enjoy that pear that's in my fridge? Look how pretty, like nature painted it with glittery gold/green paint. I would absolutely love to be craving that pear. I just think she's outta my league.
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