Stairway to Heh-vuhn

Isn't that the way the song goes? In an ongoing effort, er, in a renewed effort to be eat healthy, I've posted a recipe for the most phenomenal chocolate chip cookies ever on my Fierce and Nerdy Blog (possibly even better than the apology cookies.) I'm almost hesitant to tell you they are not only Gluten Free, but vegan.

AND in the effort to regain being physically fit, I have added some stair climbing to my morning walk. These stairs to be precise:

That's just 1 of 5 portions. My March stated goal was to go up and down these 5 times at one go. I've done 4 times, each of the past 2 days and my calves hurt, but I'm picturing my J-Lo booty getting firm. Could use some new uptempo music to make my time on the stairs a tad easier!

Also, after watching my buddy Rachel run the L.A. Marathon last weekend, Sean and I discussed doing a 10k or a half-marathon. I'm in serious consideration to join the Leukemia and Lymphoma Team in Training for the Disneyland Half Marathon in September. I figure that I already think about Dad a lot while I'm out there walking/climbing/running, I might as well be raising money to defeat the disease that took him from us. The $2,200 fundraising goal is almost as daunting as running 13.1 miles, but I think I'm up for the challenge.

Now I'm off to ice my shin splints. Keep those cards and letters coming!

Apology Cookies

It's Friday! Yippee! Since I'm a celebrating the 1 year anniversary of not having a full-time job, weekends probably don't have the same sweetness for me as they do for y'all, but they're still pretty sweet.

Speaking of sweetness, here is my Friday Sugar Chase hook-up. These cookies make me giggle. I stumbled across Sugar Mama on Etsy, and offer my kudo's for originality.

Disclaimer: I normally don't think nekkid mens/womens bachelor party favor pastries are funny. IMHO dirty-parts molded out of lollypops/cakes/cookies/candy necklaces are just lazy humor. But somehow, these seem different. Just check out how happy that bondage cookie is!

Also wanted to also share with you the pic of cookies I made last weekend.

Last Saturday was rainy and cold and we were stuck inside, glued to the CNN, watching the "Tsunami" hit Hawaii. It seemed like the perfect day to turn on the oven to warm the place up and make some cookies while we're at it. I LOVE to bake, but don't do it often anymore because all of the wheat and sugar involved in delicious baked products, make me feel poopy. Luckily the cookies I had in mind already had an adoptive home waiting.

I needed to make apology cookies. See, we purchased a Wii Fit in January and have been hopping, hooping and generally enjoying the thing ever since. I had been meaning to make cookies, for the neighbor who lives directly below us, as an apology for our recent Fit activity. So here they are, arguably, the best chocolate chip cookies I have ever made. Our downstairs neighbor seemed happy and surprised to get yummy goodies!

This recipe is from CooksIllustrated. Seen gave me an annual online subscription as my Xmas giftie (smart boy).

This coming weekend is supposed to be rainy too, so just in case you felt like baking; here is the recipe, complete with scientific reasons they are better than regular cookies:

<--Apology cookies, right outta the oven


Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookies
Makes 16 cookies. Published May 1, 2009. From ATK Books.

Avoid using a nonstick skillet to brown the butter; the dark color of the nonstick coating makes it difficult to gauge when the butter is browned. Use fresh, moist brown sugar instead of hardened brown sugar, which will make the cookies dry. This recipe works with light brown sugar, but the cookies will be less full-flavored. For our winning brand of chocolate chips, see related tasting.

1 3/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour (8 3/4 ounces)
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
14 tablespoons unsalted butter (1 3/4 sticks)
1/2 cup granulated sugar (3 1/2 ounces)
3/4 cups packed dark brown sugar (5 1/4 ounces) (see note)
1 teaspoon table salt
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
1 large egg
1 large egg yolk
1 1/4 cups semisweet chocolate chips or chunks (see note)
3/4 cup chopped pecan or walnuts, toasted (optional)

Instructions
1. Adjust oven rack to middle position and heat oven to 375 degrees. Line 2 large (18- by 12-inch) baking sheets with parchment paper. Whisk flour and baking soda together in medium bowl; set aside.

2. Heat 10 tablespoons butter in 10-inch skillet over medium-high heat until melted, about 2 minutes. Continue cooking, swirling pan constantly until butter is dark golden brown and has nutty aroma, 1 to 3 minutes. Remove skillet from heat and, using heatproof spatula, transfer browned butter to large heatproof bowl. Stir remaining 4 tablespoons butter into hot butter until completely melted.

3. Add both sugars, salt, and vanilla to bowl with butter and whisk until fully incorporated. Add egg and yolk and whisk until mixture is smooth with no sugar lumps remaining, about 30 seconds. Let mixture stand 3 minutes, then whisk for 30 seconds. Repeat process of resting and whisking 2 more times until mixture is thick, smooth, and shiny. Using rubber spatula or wooden spoon, stir in flour mixture until just combined, about 1 minute. Stir in chocolate chips and nuts (if using), giving dough final stir to ensure no flour pockets remain.

4. Divide dough into 16 portions, each about 3 tablespoons (or use #24 cookie scoop). Arrange 2 inches apart on prepared baking sheets, 8 dough balls per sheet. (Smaller baking sheets can be used, but will require 3 batches.)

5. Bake cookies 1 tray at a time until cookies are golden brown and still puffy, and edges have begun to set but centers are still soft, 10 to 14 minutes, rotating baking sheet halfway through baking. Transfer baking sheet to wire rack; cool cookies completely before serving.

Recipe Testing
Don't Bake in Batches Baking two trays at a time may be convenient, but it leads to uneven cooking. The cookies on the top tray are often browner around the edges than those on the bottom, even when rotated halfway through cooking.

Recipe Testing
Creating a New Classic Here's how we improved on the Toll House classic to create an even better cookie.

TOLL HOUSE RECIPE: Equal Amounts Brown and White Sugar
A 1-1 ratio of brown to white sugar creates a cookie that's neither crisp nor chewy.

OUR RECIPE: More Brown Sugar
Using more brown sugar than white makes for a chewier cookie.

TOLL HOUSE RECIPE: Creamed Solid Butter
Creaming butter creates a cakier texture in cookies.

OUR RECIPE: Browned, Melted Butter
Melting butter contributes to chewiness; browning it enhances flavor.

TOLL HOUSE RECIPE: 2 Whole Eggs
Whole eggs contribute to a drier texture.

OUR RECIPE: 1 Whole Egg, 1 Yolk
Eliminating one egg white also boosts chewiness.

TOLL HOUSE RECIPE: Beat and Bake
Baking the dough immediately after mixing doesn't allow the sugar to dissolve as fully as possible.

OUR RECIPE: Whisk and Wait
Whisking sugar into the liquid ingredients and then waiting 10 minutes allows more of it to dissolve, setting up better flavor and texture.

TOLL HOUSE RECIPE: Less Dough
The smaller the cookie, the more uniform its texture.

OUR RECIPE: More Dough
Three tablespoons of dough per cookie increases its crisp-chewy contrast.

Recipe Testing

For Perfect Cookies, Look to Sugar Crunchy edges, chewy centers, and big butterscotch flavors—that chocolate chip cookie framework sounded pretty sweet to us. As it turns out, perfect cookies have a lot to do with sugar and how it’s treated. Sugar that is dissolved in liquid before baking caramelizes more readily than sugar that simply melts when exposed to the same amount of heat. What would happen if we rested our cookie batter after we added the sugar to allow more of it to dissolve before going into the oven? 



EXPERIMENT - 
We prepared two batches of our Perfect Chocolate Chip Cookies. Dough from the first batch went straight from the mixing bowl onto the baking sheet; the other batch rested for 10 minutes (with occasional whisking) after we combined the sugar with the recipe’s liquids.



RESULTS - 
Cookies baked from the rested batter boasted not only richer, deeper flavor but also crisper edges.



EXPLANATION
 - Dissolving the sugar in liquid provided by the melted butter, vanilla, and egg (accelerated by whisking and resting) affects both flavor and texture. Dissolved sugar breaks down more quickly from crystalline sucrose into glucose and fructose, which caramelize at a lower temperature to form many rich, new flavor compounds. As the dissolved, caramelized sugar cools, it takes on a brittle structure. In our cookies, this brittle texture is more evident at the edges. Why? As the oven burns off moisture from the cookie perimeter, the remaining moisture gets pulled into the center, keeping it chewy.

Gimme Some Sugar, Baby

You may have noticed, by the tone of my blogumns on Fierce and Nerdy, that I am obsessed with sugar. Baking is fun, social, creative and can be hilarious. Other folks must feel that same way because the internets are filled with drool-worthy recipes/imagery that need to be shared with YOU!

So going forward, Friday is going to be Sugar Chaser day on my ole blog here.

Here is the Sugar Chase o' the Week from the OMG blog NotSoHumblePie:

Cookies for Geeks! (Dude, that's the periodic table...in cookies!)

The dichotomy of this is that I know that sugar is bad, bad, bad for you. It's a toxin, it destroys cells, it ages you faster, it makes me grumpy and crampy and fat. Yup, my brain is smart. More often than not my brain controls what my hand puts into my mouth. But sometimes, when my brain isn't looking, I'll sneak a cookie in. (When I worked at the regional office for The Whole, I managed to convince my brain that organic meant healthy. On a steady diet of organic sugar cookies, I gained 15 lbs.)

Bird in the Hand

Free beer and big boobies! Since the blog feed onto my Facebook page usually publishes the first sentence of this blog, I figure that this particular sentence would help increase my readership. (I know, grammar police, it's not a sentence. AND I know, Gramma police, it's a little risque with the large amount of my family on FB, so don't show mom...) Check out the blue-footed Boobies to the left there.

So the first order of business today is to direct you to my tasty, lip-smacking donut obsessed Fierce and Nerdy Blog. I haven't had a donut in like a year, probably since I had a full time job come to think of it. I guess I'll go eat some frozen strawberries... That'll make me feel better than any old delicious, old fashioned, white cake with a light glaze donut that melts on my tongue and leaves little crumbs on my desk that I can pick up with the tip of my finger as little dessert treat donuts.

Second order of biz; update on the Writer's Conference. Little ole' shy me had an absolutely phenomenal time! The workshops were all really inspiring and educational and, man, the people I met were hilarious and so open and welcoming. I wish I could find a job just going to writing conferences, now that I know what to wear. (Though I was completely exhausted by the time I got home Sunday night.) HUGE thanks to Marilyn from Writing Pad, for driving and feeding me. I can not wait for her writing retreat in October in 29 Palms!

There was an amazing, life-changing, free-beering, boob-expanding 3rd point, but I've totally forgotten what it was. See what happens to a woman with no sugar in her system and amalgam fillings in her teeth.

I'll sign off with a quote from my donut eating inspiration - Homer J. Simpson - "Maybe it's the beer talking, but you've got a butt that won't quit..."

Drum Sticks

Hey! How are you? I've been meaning to call, but have been so busy!

Ok, that's not true, we got a Wii Fit and that's pretty much my reality now. I'll see you in March.

When I was home to visit the ole Mom's last month, she mentioned that she and her brother were talking about their kids. Mom and Uncle Bill both agreed that me and Roger (Bill's son) were the weird ones in the family.

2 days later, out of the blue, it hit me and I said "HEY! What do you mean the 'weird ones'?"

Mom said that I march to the beat of my own drummer. Which I think is an odd statement. Doesn't everybody march to the beat of their own drum? Is there some sort of universal drumming that I can't hear that everybody else can? I've already written about how I am the black/different sheep in my herd, so that information doesn't surprise me. I am just having a hard time figuring out how the rest of you normals find the regular beat.

OH and read my FaN column this week. It's all about love and cupid and the marketing hype that is Valentimes Day.

Pah rum pah rum pum

Feels Like the First Time

I'm going to my very first writer's conference next weekend and am starting to spaz out a little. I'm trying to figure out what to wear, what to bring, how much of every thing I should bring, will there be food, will there be bathrooms, will the other kids like me, should I bring my paper bag so I stop hyperventilating...

So far I've got my briefcase thingie, my laptop, some business cards and the semi-organization of the novel/biography I've been working on. (I'm doing the conference's novel writing intensive, so I figured that'd be good.) Other than that I'm clueless and worried I'll end up wearing a prom dress when jeans are the norm, or visa versa, and will have everything I need but a pen. Perhaps I should take my own advice and breathe a little.

If you've been to a writers conference, do you have any little tips that aren't obvious and would be hella helpful? (Like all beauty contestants know to put vaseline on their teeth. Is that helpful at writer's conferences?)

I'm super excited to go. My stomach has the butterfly version of jazz hands because I'm so anxious to get there, get connected and get writing.

Breathing and bikes

Aaaaggghhh!!! That's how I've decided to start my blogs now. It came to me as I was clipped by a bike speeding down the sidewalk. That was the noise I made. Ya like?

The noises I made afterward were fun too, it was mostly mumbling - "GAw, I hate stupid cyclists who don't follow rules!!" "I should have taken off my shoe and thrown it at his head!" "I wish I would have had my arm out and clotheslined him." (BTW, not the guy in the picture...)

I ride a bicycle around Santa Monica, in the bike lane, using my little adorable bike bell if pedestrians are nearby. Can I invoke Karma to kick this guys butt?

So I came home and listened to a meditation from The Meditation Society of Australia. ahhhh. I've been meditating a lot more the last few months. You can read about the tools I've found and how it's perked me right up on my latest Fierce And Nerdy blogumn!

Be careful out there!