I have a code

Me in training courtesy of FunnyFreePics.com

The world has gone crazy in a handbasket, so I'm learning how to build websites.  Don't call me a Hero.  Ok, go ahead. 

As I stumble through this WordPress training, I feel like a monkey trying to learn to communicate via computer screen.  If I focus hard enough, someday Jane Goodall will give me that dang orange. (I know, mixed monkey metaphor)

It also occurs to me that I'm an impatient soul.  I've always gone for the quick gains, usually skipping the basics, because, come on, lets face it, the basics are for slow people .  Impatience is the reason I get so friggin bored during basic information sessions (like during my training for the census.  That took for. friggin. ever.)

For the WordPress training, I actually started from the top and paid attention.  There were cool little things I learned that I might have missed had I skipped ahead.  I think my mindset started changing toward the basics over the last week or so, when I started teaching myself piano.  Piano isn't something where you can skip to expert level on the first day.  Patience is learning Aura Lee, at advancing speed, without screeching in frustration as my finger hits "F" instead of "G".  Someday I'll get to Carnegie Hall... with lots of practice. (It's still called Carnegie Hall right?  It's not "Groupon Hall" yet is it?)

The other thing I need to tell you is to check out my Fierce and Nerdy blogumn on being nice.  My default setting is Cran-Key.  When I eat right and exercise, I'm nicer.  Being mindful of being a citizen of the world, also helps me tone down the crank. 

My Dad set an example of how to be kind and trust people, a courtesy he gave to nearly everyone he met.  Before he passed, Dad told us a story of a man, who he hired to work for his concrete business back in the 70's.  The guy called him in 2008, while Dad was battling MDS, to let Dad know that because Dad had taken a chance on this wild drifter guy, that guy had learned what it took to work and create a good life.  The guy went on to build a successful business.  That was just how Dad treated people, with patience and belief.  That's good stuff to learn.

Courtesy of Quasi's owner Renee

Before we part, you totally need to check out this cat.  Seriously, it's not Photoshop.  He is a real cat. His owner made cool character art, My Ugly Kitty, and seems to have a great sense of humor.  We dig Renee and Quasi!

Revolving resolve

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Resolution number Six for 2011 is to update this blog at least once a week. As this is the first week of 2011, I am off to a stellar start. So, let's update shall we?


1. I want this. A notepad. For the shower!! This brilliant device will do one of two things: Either I will write down all of the genius ideas that bombard me in the shower, or it will scare the muse out of the shower and I can actually wash with a calm, peaceful mind. Click on the pic to find out where you can buy it for me.


2. I decided to make some catnip toys for the kitties at the shelter. Since the sewing machine is broken, I hand sewed little pockets and filled them with batting and nip. To entertain my brain, whilst my fingers were stitching, I watched Boardwalk Empire on demand. I got sucked into the really great writing, unpredictable characters and inside jokes about history. Plus, I stage managed some theatre with Micheal Shannon a few years ago, so it's always fun to see him working.

SPOILER ALERT - (Ok, not really a SPOILER but more of a frowny emoticon) The last episode of Season 1 was lousy. I got totally hooked on the first 11 and then, ppllbbt. It seemed so contrived. At one point, during Michael Shannon's last scene of the season, I felt like I was watching an episode of Three's Company. Not sure why the writers/producers made those choices, other than JUST to keep a successful cast.

3. Joined a writing group. I knew 2 people going in, but had weird random historical connections to the other 3. Connections I didn't know about until the meeting. Sussing out those connections led to me rambling. I have two social modes, shy/terrified or rambling. In the moment, rambling always feels like a triumph over my timidity. Later, say, in the shower when I have monkey mind, I wonder why I say dorky things and get embarrassed. Aside from my neurotic reactions to being social, I am really looking forward to the group. It's giving me deadlines to get seriously serious and finish draft 2 of my NaNoRhino novel.

And now, as the rambling for this week comes go a close, I wish you a very warm and happy 2011. (Check out more resolutions and top picks for movies/books/TV/music for 2010 on Fierce and Nerdy.) Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the paper towels on the top shelf.

An Education

'They' say you learn something new every day. When I woke up with food poisoning I learned 2 things:

1. Always, and I mean always, keep your toilet clean.

2. The other thing you don't want to see, when you're shivering and rocking back and forth on the bathroom floor, is a the cover of the LA Magazine's ultimate guide to Mexican food. Probably best to keep that issue in the living room.

This blog has been brought to you by the letters T and M and I.

That Happened

Right! I'm procrastinating my other writing and work and so on and such forth. I figured it would be a good time to catch up with you (4) people! So, how ya been?

Me? I finished NaNoWriMo, or Nano Rhino, as we call it around here. I am a winner! See how this fancy gif tells you that?!? So I have 50,022 words, all about a similar topic, blended together into one document that we'll call "The First Draft". On January 1, after a one month break from "The First Draft", I plan to print it out and ruthlessly re-write almost every stinkin' sentence. As I told my writing partner, I felt more like I was directing traffic with a keyboard than magically creating a story.

The book is, mainly, about my Dad's battle with MDS and Leukemia. Ya know the saying "no tears in the writer, no tears in the reader..."? well, this book has tears, from the writer at least. I tried to handle it lightly and keep it full of the grace and humor with which my Dad fought the illnesses. But much like the physiological reaction to the stress I had at the time, my body started shutting down as I was writing.

The morning after I started writing about Dad's last day, I woke up with either a stomach virus or food poisoning. Yup, ole Hurley Joe was back for one last round of "maybe you shouldn't revisit this trauma just yet." I was the kind of sick where you lay on the cold bathroom floor cause the bed is too far away, pull the cat's sleeping pillow under your head and just drape a bath towel over you while you try and sleep for just 5 minutes. On a positive note, I tried Head-On (applied directly to my forehead), because the headache I had was overwhelming and I couldn't even keep water down. That stuff works pretty well! (and BTW, did you know that Pepto Bismal gives you a black tongue? I just found that out/fascinating.)

After a few days (which included Thanksgiving, America's eating holiday) I sipped my broth and said "Screw You Body! I'm finishing this thing, so SUCK IT!" Suck it indeed. The knot in my belly kicked like a p.o.'d fetus, but I sallied forth and viola! Winner GIF! And hopefully, in a year or so, after 2 rewrites, copy edits and reviews from trustworthy sources, securing an agent and a publisher...a Barnes & Noble best seller. Like Magic!

I guess I'll get back to pressing matters. So you peeps have a Happy Hannukah, Good Yule, Sweet Solstice and Merry Christmas. Don't drink and drive, but say yes to fun and have the best time you possibly can!

Brain v. taste buds

What is up with this craving? Why do I want a Little Debbie Swiss Roll? It's not food. I think it's made from unicorn hiccups and kitten giggles, with a dab of HFCS and hydrogenated palm oil. Look at it, so smug, just sitting there being delicious.

While cutesy, these things won't help me shred my pecs or shrink my hinder. After 1 minute of yummy noises and 10 minutes of jubilant dancing, a Little Debbie Swiss Roll will create the sugar crash beast within me to eat the adorableness out of the world.

Why can't I just enjoy that pear that's in my fridge? Look how pretty, like nature painted it with glittery gold/green paint. I would absolutely love to be craving that pear. I just think she's outta my league.

The Rhino

I am procrastinating by writing you this love note: I think you're the best. Do you like me back?

[_] Yes
[_] No

Not much happening around here except me trying to write 50,000 words, all strung together, in some type of story-like format by the end of November. Yes, fellow kiddos, I am doing the NaNoWriMo challenge.

This is the perfect year for me to do it, as I am working at home. Therefore, after a short meditation, I can go from work to writing with no commute between the two! Thank you The Man, for letting me work at home.

When I first discussed it with Seen, he thought I said "I'm going to do Nano Rhino this year." That tickled me into a giggle fit. I'm easily entertained.

The best part of the rhino is the speed part. It's very Amherst method of writing without editing. I'm pretty sure that I've written some good stuff and some blah stuff, but it's getting generated. I can fix that crappy crap in post. You guys will get all the juicy details on it when I do my GMA interview on my best-selling novel in about 18 months. (Here is that PMA baby!!)

I'm at about 12,300 now. Should be 14,600 by EOD, if I ever stop writing to you. I just can't quit you.

Sandwich Cure

It has been almost 6 weeks since I had a banana. All because my doctor gave me anti-fungals and put me on a diet so restrictive that even fruit sugars were considered a forbidden food-dancer. I blathered on about on my FaN blog recently.

After a month of not cheating AT ALL, eating only greens and proteins, suffering through hunger and super-dooooper cranky pantsyness (man, my poor husband), I had a follow up call with her.

She said "keep the diet up for 8 more weeks." WHAAA? I sighed, buckled down and bought more deep green veg with some fish (yucky).

I'm losing weight like a mo-fo, but what follows that conversation was 10 more days of pouting, stomping, almost fainting (did I mention my low blood pressure? No? Well, it really isn't any of your business, but yes, if you must be nosey, I have LOW blood pressure. Happy now? Have you stopped reading? Come back!! I promise the blog is gonna get really good and sexy in a few minutes, just stick with me. Sexy beer.) yelling and general bitchiness. It is so frustrating to not have a sandwich like a normal.

On day 10 of the NEW 8 week restrictions, (almost 6 weeks total) while reading an article about the L.A. coroner office, I stumbled on a quote from a local mortician. He said that everyone dies, no one really knows when, so - Eat, Drink and Be Merry, for tomorrow you may die. (I will thank that mortician every time I eat this month.) That night, on a walk with the ever patient husband, we discussed the options, the pros v. cons of continuing the diet or working through my stress/health issues in other ways. We came to the conclusion of Other Ways. (mainly cardio, yoga, meditation, friends and PMA). What it came down to was quality of life. Since I don't have actual Candida yeast, only 2 lesser yeasts, I was satisfied with the action I had taken for 6 weeks. Because every second of life counts, I didn't want to be miserable for one more of those life seconds.

That decision was 1 week ago and I feel pretty awesome right now. Yeah, my head is a little achey from sinus pressure, but whatevs. I'm still eating healthy, just not so restricted. My cardio is much improved now that I'm eating and the PMA is honestly making me feel better physically and psychologically.

Alot of this stuff is mental, and believe me, I am mental! (See rambling above. I promise to shorten next time, but it's been 2 months since we've chatted.)

Oh! and because I promised you - sexy beer!